June

It's that time of year again, that time I used to commemorate with friends giggling half the night in sleeping bags. June is a happy time for me, with sun, short sleeves, my birthday, and the Stanley Cup...go, Pens! My favorite ways to celebrate my birthday now include simple things that I enjoy. Our culture might label me as boring, but I'm old enough to be okay with it. 

There's the annual espresso cake tradition, begun last year by my husband: 

This cake has come to be a symbol of June for me, as it lasts a long time, and I savor its aroma and flavor sometimes for breakfast, sometimes during the day, and lately I've even indulged myself in a slice at night over an episode of one of my old favorites, "My Three Sons." The cake has become a highlight of my birthday that lasts beyond that one day.

Another tradition is a visit from my mom, who we call "Gaby." This year, we decided to have a girls' afternoon (Gaby, my girls, Abue, and I) downtown. We ate Kilwin's ice cream in the rain, then hopped over to Mast General Store. Before we ventured out, Gaby, who shares my love of old books, had presented me with these: 

I had never heard of these Maida books, first published in 1910 (my editions are a bit newer!). Imagine my surprise when I opened one and saw this inscription: 

I don't have a Grandma and Grandpa Male, but the rest of it sure did fit! Gaby hadn't noticed it when she picked these up at the thrift store, so she had a surprise, too!

Speaking of thrift store shopping, this is a birthday tradition I enjoy on the actual day. Last year, my girls and I went together; what a treat that they're at the age that I can take them along on treasure-hunting adventures! This year, our pal Liz went along. There's no one more adept at bargains and thrift stores than Liz. She buys something at each place we visit! Here we are, about to embark on the journey: 

And here she is, with a fabulous find:

The girls were good sports. They were dragged around to look at stuff from other people's attics from 10am until 4pm, and survived! We hit a few places in town, including a huge antiques place that's going out of business. Look at this funny book I found for a dollar: 

In looking through this work from 1963, it occurred to me that my parents were the "Teen-Agers" mentioned in the title. Maybe I should let them read it! You may think, Does she actually read all these books she talks about, or is she just an old-book hoarder?! The answer is yes, and...um...well, I wouldn't exactly say, hoarder...! I find space where I can keep these works of literature neatly displayed and organized. Yes, I do read them, several at a time, in bits and pieces; I find time to read at the kitchen table over a sandwich, in bed at night, at my kids' tennis clinics, and outside in the sun after my housework is done. 

June is also a time for selling books at an annual homeschool book sale. This year was my second year (all of these traditions...cake, thrift stores, book sale, started last year!), and it's so much fun! My friend Eliza and I shared a table and attempted to get rid of some curriculum and books we no longer needed. Our motto was, "May we earn more than we spend," because sellers are able to shop at the sale before it opens to the public!

The crowd was thinner than last year, but I did make a little cash, found a few interesting finds, and had a great time seeing old and new friends. Aside from the pristine copy of d'Aulaire's Book of Greek Myths I got for a mere $2, this was my purchase of the day: 

"How much are your Hardy Boys?" I asked the couple. "Five dollars..." began the lady, "...for the box." To which I exclaimed, "The whole box?!" And she even threw in those two Charlie Browns, which one daughter has already read! My husband and girls have enjoyed reading several books from The Hardy Boys series together at night, and we've started a small collection. Miraculously, we only owned one of the volumes in this one: a much crisper copy of the one you see with no spine! Notice there's even an Authentic Detective Methods for Solving Mysteries. I'd never seen this, but I imagine it's rare. The girls and their dad can read Hardy Boys to their hearts' content!

There are two things unique to this June, different from last year:

Our fourth summer in this house, the hydrangeas finally burst into full bloom! I believe I wasn't cutting this bush down enough in the winter. I still didn't cut it completely, but did some, and this was the result! Our vases in the house are full of them. 

Also, I just had the privilege of finishing this study: 

The ladies in our community group have spent over ten weeks examining our hearts, tearing down strongholds, rebuking the enemy, sharpening each other, and growing in Christ. I highly recommend this powerful work by Beth Moore. Thank you, dear Amanda, for initiating this in our group, and to all the ladies who shared their hearts with me during this time.

Here's to June!

Live & Learn

Some time ago, I put in my two cents on standardized testing. I'm still not a fan, although I just discovered something that obviously has some bearing on my strong opinion: I had administered the wrong test to my kids!

I was covered in despair last year as they tested and I glanced over their shoulders at the questions, many about items we had not covered. There was a lot of guessing on their part, and self-condemnation on mine. What kind of homeschooler was I? Why were my children "behind"? Did other kids in their grades know this stuff? In spite of my fears, they still scored average or above in most sections.

This whole school year, the dread of testing hovered like a dark cloud. Would my kids and I end up discouraged again after testing? Would the passages and problems seem like a foreign language to us again? Why should I spend my year teaching to a test?, I wondered with bitterness. I tried to adopt a "who cares?" attitude, although I care very much! My children's learning is too important to me to not care about every part, even a standardized test.

This morning, I ordered the CAT test again, thinking that we needed to get it over with sooner or later. I ordered from a different company, since this time I wanted to have them take the test untimed. Last year, I recalled having to specify the "grade entering," rather than the grades they had just completed. This time, the new company simply asked "Grade" for what test I wanted. Since my girls were in 3rd and 4th grades this year, I ordered the tests for grades 3 and 4. Logical, right?

The online CAT test is a good option, because sections can be taken over time. My 3rd grader wanted to start with Reading Comprehension, while my 4th grader began with Math Computation. As I looked over their shoulders today, I thought, these questions seem more reasonable this time! Then it dawned on me what had happened: last year, my child who had just completed 2nd grade had taken the 3rd grade test, and my child who had just completed 3rd grade had taken the 4th grade test. They are taking the same tests this year that they took last year! Why???!!!! 

I called and talked to a representative from the company I'm using this year. I explained to the lady that last year, I had to tell what grades my girls were "entering," rather than the grades they had just completed. This year, (same test but different company), I was asked for what "grade" test I wanted, so I naturally said 3rd and 4th, since those were the grades they had completed. Doesn't it seem obvious that someone who just finished 3rd grade would take the 3rd grade test?

The lady answered that they "recommend" taking the test for the grade level the student is entering, although many parents choose to have their child(ren) take the test for the grade completed. Are you as baffled at this point as I was, and still am? Why on earth would I spend time making sure my 3rd grader learned all those 3rd grade things, only to say, "Okay, you've done so well in 3rd grade...now here's the 4th grade test. See how well you can do on that!"?? Yet that's exactly what the testing company from last year had me do, and because of it, my kids and I wanted to pull our hair out! I didn't know otherwise; I assumed they were still taking the test for the grade they had just completed, and the company had made me list what grade they were entering for some type of protocol.

Where is the logic in working hard, improving in reading, math, reasoning, narration, comprehension, and many other skills, only to take a test with things on it that you'll learn next year? Isn't the point of a test to show parents and teachers what the child has learned, and where improvements must be made? Here I was, beating my head against a wall, wondering where I'd gone wrong, only to realize that where I'd gone wrong was in the level of test I'd administered! How relieved I am to now give them the right tests...the same ones they took last year, which are much easier this year!

The devil aims as many fiery darts of darkness and lies at me as he can. Many of those have to do with what kind of mother and teacher I am. I believed that I was lacking in some area of my teaching, all because of this ridiculous "recommendation." It's like telling an Algebra 1 student to take the Algebra 2 test. Nothing but frustration can come from it. I'm aggravated that the other company would give this as the only option in ordering the test, causing worry to people like me who didn't know better. However, there is great relief in realizing the truth. I had wondered many times how others could always remark that the CAT was so "easy," when I was thinking how hard it had been for my children. Wonder no more!

Here's my advice: if you use the CAT, make sure your children are taking the test for the grade level completed, not the grade they are entering. I naively assumed that if I said my kid was "entering" 3rd grade, the company still gave a test appropriate for someone who had just finished 2nd grade. How relieved I am to know the truth! To me, this is an illustration of letting "yes" be "yes," and "no," "no." Why not just ask, like the current company we're using, "Which grade test do you want?" Makes much more sense, because it's how things should be. Life (and, these days, education) doesn't have to be as hard as we make it. Absolutes will always be absolutes. Eight-year-olds will always have eight-year-old brains, regardless of our attempts to force advanced things into them. When Christ told us to be clear in our rhetoric, He, as usual, knew what He was talking about; it goes deeper than a simple yes or no. 

"But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.' For whatever is more than these is from the evil one." Matthew 5:37

Spotless

It was one of those times when little annoyances seem magnified. There was spiritual warfare in the air! I knew it, but all I could do was say, "Help, Lord. Forgive my rotten attitude. Help me to focus and not fall into traps." 

Satan hates all I do that's good for my children. He especially hated that I'd decided to take my younger daughter out for breakfast, just the two of us. Since my girls are close in age and usually together, I've begun finding ways to spend a little individual time with them. Our enemy detests that; he doesn't want to see mother/daughter relationships growing. 

My girl had felt it, too; she even went to bed the night before saying, "I don't really wanna go tomorrow." I knew what that was all about....he can get into all of our heads, and likes to start young. We went anyway, and had a fabulous time. When we got home, more battles ensued.

First, it was sisters fighting over how screen time would be allocated later. Then there was grumbling over math. Then there was my skipping sections of the book because the tension in the air was thick, and my nerves were frying. Then I looked out the window and noticed three (not just one anymore; he went and told all his friends) squirrels wreaking havoc at the bird feeder. Finally, I noticed that the spray bottle I'd grabbed to scare them off had had some type of old, gooey, white paint on it...which was now not only on my hands, but also on my pants, some of my favorite pants. It all added up to a snowball of pesky annoyances, the kind that you know aren't a big deal, but the devil uses the combination to blow a person's top!

I was indignant over the white spot on my blue pants. The more I scrubbed to get it out (in Shakespeare style, "Out, damn spot! OUT, I say!"), the more I realized that it wasn't going to come out. I threw them in the washer and hoped for the best, all the while telling the Lord I wasn't proud over all my frustrations that morning. I couldn't get past the fact that if my girl and I had a delightful time at breakfast, the enemy was going to find some other way to irritate us.

When I took them out, there was a sinking feeling when I looked and saw that the spot indeed hadn't come out. Oh, well, I thought as I hung them on the drying rack. The pants look kind of denim, so at least it'll sort of blend in. What more could I do?

I went back to the laundry room at least an hour later to throw in a load of whites. I glanced at my pants again to see if the stain had become less noticeable. Where was it? Yes, those are the same pants, I thought, and I'm looking right where that stain was...but WHERE is it?! I looked once more. I know that stain was there, I told myself. I saw it and lamented it when I pulled the wet pants out to dry! Then it hit me: God had removed that stain.

"They're spotless!" I told myself. And the Holy Spirit, in His still, quiet way, told me..."Just like you." I was dumbfounded.

Nothing I could do, no amount of fixing or trying, was able to remove that stain. God Himself had to do it. What a beautiful visual of my salvation: nothing in my power was able to take away the stain of my sin, except Christ Himself. I fully believe God gave me this experience as a beautiful reminder. I wasn't looking for it; I simply had gone to Him in repentance over how silly I'd acted about all that insignificant stuff, and how I'd allowed the enemy to get under my skin. In His grace, my sweet Lord loved me back like only He can. I am spotless, just like the pants. It's how He sees me, and I'm overcome.

Hey, Moms of Girls!
I just finished a fantastic must-read for those of us with what they now call "tweens," or girls ages 8 to 12. In her book, Six Ways to Keep the "Little" in Your Girl, purity expert Dannah Gresh advises and encourages moms of girls on how to have those difficult conversations many of us have been afraid of. Through her own experiences, Gresh sheds light on how we can approach hard conversations about the changes our girls will soon go through, and God's perfect design for sex and motherhood. She tackles how to handle them when our girls are still what many of us consider "too young," but warns that waiting until they're teenagers to approach these topics is waiting too late. In our culture, we must equip our daughters with accurate, Biblical information, or someone else will fill their heads with the opposite. 

I don't always enjoy "how-to" books, but this wasn't like that at all. Dannah Gresh has done her homework, and understands how moms, girls, and the world think. Her book reads as one friend talking to another, mom-to-mom. She imparts the wisdom and courage that we moms need to train up our girls in the way they should go. When they are older, they will not depart from it; I trust these words because the Bible tells me so (Proverbs 22:6).

Another resource I'd purchased long ago that I decided to pull out is The Christian Girl's Guide to Change, Inside and Out by Rebecca Park Totilo. This is a simple, fun, interactive book where girls learn about body changes, hormones, and health, and they get to answer questions and read funny scenarios, with Bible verses scattered throughout. My older daughter was enjoying it so much, I decided to get one for her sister, too. Dannah Gresh says that even if girls haven't yet experienced the changes they're learning about, they will be well prepared. I like this book because it's light-hearted and focuses only on body changes, not sex or reproduction. It's one that my girls can enjoy on their own, knowing I won't read the things they write. 

Finally, I wondered...what to do about the "biggies" I mentioned being excluded in the fun book? What's just enough to tell them, and what can wait? I found How You Are Changing for girls ages 9-11, and we're going a chapter at a time. It's a good idea to peruse the reading before you read it aloud to your child(ren). One dilemma I had was the feeling that my older girl was ready for some information that I might want to wait on for the younger. I struggled a bit on how to handle this, because remember, they do a lot together. I prayed for wisdom, and the answer was simple: skip the "heavy" parts when reading to both girls, and take time alone with my older girl to go back and read those parts just to her. 

No one ever said we can't omit, or "read over," parts our kids can't handle at the moment. It's like with a movie; we can fast-forward through an inappropriate scene in an otherwise worthwhile film. We have the autonomy to gauge our kids' readiness. (Side note: this reminds me of the time I was reading to them from Lang's Blue Fairy Book, written in the late 1800's. Thankfully, I caught the word "hussy" and changed it to something else before it slipped out! I haven't always been so fortunate, but they're guaranteed learning experiences).

Pure, spotless...it's how He sees us, and how He wants us to live. May we trust Him to grow us in it, always.