Your Misunderstood Lyrics (Funny Songs, Pt. 2)

As I was thinking of misunderstood song lyrics, I thought it would be fun to survey my Facebook friends. Here are some funnies they shared, in no particular order:

1. Katie heard "Arrows on the Moon" in place of "Arizona Moon," from "Three Amigos."

2. Instead of "I'll never be your beast of burden," imagine Mick Jagger saying he'll never be a "pizza burning"! Two people submitted this...perhaps you need to enunciate, Mick!

Everyone loved Mick no matter what he said!

3. Van Halen's "Might as well Jump!" became the name, "Maxwell Jump."

4. Rather than envisioning "Lady Madonna," Marji's sister couldn't wait to "Redeem a donut!"

5. Forget "Amadeus, Amadeus...," we're playing "Hot potatoes, hot potatoes!"

6. Steve Perry of Journey won't be coming to you with "Open Arms," but rather, "...with Broken Arms!"

"...with OPEN arms..."

7. One that makes more sense to a kid than "yon": "Round young virgin, so tender and mild..."

8. Claire mistook Migo's "Versace" for "Hibachi, Hibachi!" Guess she was hungry!

9. In a song where the artist croons, "And thennnnn....," Casey heard, "Ooooh-weeee!"  We probably make that mistake more than we realize. It took me thirty years to realize that in A-ha's "Take On Me," the line is, "In a day or twoooooooo!" rather than just a random, dragged out shout. 

10. Little Lanie replaced The Pledge of Allegiance's "with liberty and justice for all" with "liver and orange juice for all!"

11. Who can forget Ace of Base's "I Saw the Sign"? Although I can't blame Frankie for thinking she was saying she'd seen the sun. Of course it makes sense; the next line is "And it opened up my eyes."

12. Wonder what Kenny Rogers would think of "You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel," as a guy performing a bike stunt loses a wheel?

13. My Dad...the king of "oldies" music...While Brenda Lee was assuring teens that "Mistakes are part of being young," he heard, "Mistakes are part of the annual." Better check that '65 CHS yearbook for errors!

Brenda, "I'm sorry...so sorry...Please accept my apology."

Actually, maybe the apology should go to the annual staff!

14. Dear Sarah...As a child, she'd sing the hymn "Bringing in the Sheaves" and imagine her mother going out to the clothesline and "Bringing in the Sheets."

Time to bring in those sheets!

15. I completely agree with Jennifer on this one. In Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World," it really doesn't sound like "the bright, blessed days; the dark, sacred nights." We both hear, "the dogs say goodnight"!

16. Of course, who can forget what Anne and Tammy pointed out from CCR's "Bad Moon Rising"? "There's a bathroom on the right!"

17. Another line from "Lucille" to make Kenny cringe: "With 400 children and a cop in the field." 

Seriously, people?

18. And in Emily's mind, it was an entire "Big old jet airline" rather than just the airliner!

19. Jennie reminded me of another longtime song error, from Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean": "The chad is not my son." She also used to hear "Bohemian Rhapsody" as, "So you think you can stomp me and spread my eye!"

20. This contribution comes from Turtle: "If I die young, bury me in salad," when the request was actually to be buried in satin!

21. The Doobie Brothers sang in "Black Water" about hearing "that funky Dixieland," but I'm sure there's a sweet lady somewhere in the south named  "Dixie Lanford"!

22. Just what is it about names? Mike wondered why The Cranberries, in their song "Zombie," were calling for "Tommy!"

Thanks to everyone for your contributions. As long as there's music, there will be misunderstood song lyrics. For further reading on the subject, I recommend Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs. 

My Misunderstood Lyrics (Funny Songs, Pt. 1)

How funny it is to misunderstand song lyrics! I've been doing it all my life. Are you like me...do you find out the correct words, and still sing the wrong ones? Don't you wish you could go back to the ignorance of not knowing what they're supposed to really be saying?

There will be several posts on this topic. This first one is comprised of a list dear to my heart, songs whose lyrics I enjoyed misunderstanding from an early age.

1. "I'd Really Love to See You Tonight," by England Dan and John Ford Coley. This song has stood the test of time, making me laugh every time I hear it. Early on, instead of the correct, "I'm not talking 'bout moving in...," I'd bellow, "I'm not talkin' 'bout the Liberty Bell!" Don't ask; there's no explanation. 

England Dan and John Ford Coley had some great hits!

I love "We'll Never Have to Say Goodbye" and "Love is the Answer," too.

2. "Man in the Mirror," by Michael Jackson. There's no way he's really saying "And no message could've been any clearer." For thirty-two years, it's been "And no mustache for the man and the clipper," and I'm not about to stop now! 

3. "Ready Yourselves," by Casting Crowns. This band has some terrific contemporary Christian songs, but I couldn't figure out why they were repeating, "Radio says...radio says!" I wondered what that had to do with Jesus, but figured I was missing something. How relieved I felt when local DJ Carol Davis admitted to thinking that they said the same thing!

4. "Ain't No Woman," by The Four Tops. This wasn't my error, but my friend's mom's, affectionately called "Mammy." When we were kids, she'd sing, "Ain't No Woman Like Louella Potts," and we'd laugh our heads off. Now, my children and I listen to it on Pandora and sing the same wrong words, on purpose! Gotta love preserving laughs for posterity.

5. "The Star Spangled Banner," by Francis Scott Key. This also wasn't mine, but I loved how Beverly Cleary wrote about it in Ramona the Pest, and again, my children and I talk about it to this day. On the first day of kindergarten, Ramona is puzzled by the lyrics, "By the dawnzer lee light." She concludes that a "dawnzer" is a fancy word for lamp, and even uses it to impress her family, stating that her sister should "...turn on the dawnzer...it gives a lee light."

Sincerest apologies to Frank Key!

Chidren are precious.

6. "Breaking Up is Hard to Do," by Neil Sedaka. My dad was always listening to oldies, so I was, too. He taught me who sang what, and in what year. To this day, I remember all about Frankie Avalon, Bobby Vee, and all the rest. Anyway, I couldn't figure out why Neil told his love, "Don't take your love away from me. Don't you leave my heart in Missouri."

7. "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." At a very young age, maybe three, I remember making up my own words to this song. My heart was entirely childlike, not intending in the least to denigrate the meaning. At the place where one would normally sing, "His truth is marching on," I'd croon at the top of my lungs, "He's in his booster seat!" This still makes me cackle, as in my mind, the "he" in my line was a rooster! As I said, children are precious.

8. Finally, my favorite...all because Barry Manilow boasted, "I write the songs that make the whole world sing!" For making such a bold claim, I took him seriously. I actually believed that Barry Manilow wrote every song the whole world sang, including "Happy Birthday"! I told my friends, "I know who wrote 'Happy Birthday;' it was Barry Manilow!" How disappointed I was to find out that Barry wasn't quite the composer I'd thought, although his songs are satisfactory enough. 

Sorry, he can't take credit for "Happy Birthday," but

did you know that he did write

"And like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!"

Stay tuned over the next week or so for the list of the people. I asked you all to give me your misunderstood song lyrics, and will publish them in another post. I'm still open to suggestions (appropriate, please)....

"Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord," Ephesians 5:19.

Thank You, Lord, for songs, joy, and laughter!

Good Music

One thing my husband and I have always loved is music. We are both blessed to have been exposed to many genres over our lives. His Dad introduced him early on to Gene Pitney and to musicals like "South Pacific" and "Oklahoma!"; my Dad drove me to school every morning singing along to Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons, Johnny Mathis, and Tommy James and the Shondells. As children, Jeremy and I both gained an appreciation for our parents' musical era while also loving what was popular at the time. The eighties had a wide range of sounds: from Van Halen to Hall and Oates, from The Outfield to Chicago, from Belinda Carlisle to Metallica...we grew up hearing it all. 

As fans of nostalgia living in a hipster time and area, we often bemoan today's contemporary tunes, with their lack of creativity and annoying monotony. Like adults have always said of top 40 music, "There's just nothing good anymore." The hard part is, I think this time it's true; today's songs really all do sound the same, and what we've found is that our millennial friends have no idea that up until about twenty years ago, "good music" actually did exist! Unfortunately, there's something uncool for many folks about going into the past; surely we're enlightened enough to not have to do that! 

It seems to us almost a crime that "young folks" today (i.e., those who don't remember or weren't exposed to any music before 1995) have no clue of the musical feast that has been prepared and set before us. Actually, it's not just younger people; there are plenty of ones my age (40) who act as if they've never heard good music at all, clinging to today's stations as if it's cool. The twenty somethings have a reason, but what's your excuse if you graduated from high school before the year 2000?  

If I sound indignant, it's because I am! C.S. Lewis once described us as "an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." Now, he was talking about us in reference to the Lord, and how we settle for mediocrity too easily, but I think this quote captures our lack of variety in musical taste, too. Our culture "settles" for things too easily; we accept lack of imagination too readily, and can't fathom going outside the box. 

Wise Solomon, in Ecclesiastes, states that there is nothing new under the sun. This has to be true, as God Word says it is so. We see things today as revolutionary, new, cool, head and shoulders better than anyone has ever done them. Music is no different. I witness folks who have had the misfortune of never hearing truly good music playing with mud pies, having no idea that if they just got on YouTube or iTunes, they could broaden their horizons, and have a holiday at the sea. Dare to go back...way back...maybe to...dare I risk being uncool...oh, the '70's or '80's? 

Jeremy and I took this dare last week, although for us, it wasn't terribly risky since we already listen to old stuff. The challenge was being not stared at as we boarded the shuttle at Biltmore Estate with people fifteen to twenty-five years older than we are. My indignation rose then, too, as I thought, "Where are the people in their forties who grew up with this stuff? Why do we look like tots compared to these other folks?!" I didn't think one had to be twenty in 1982 to appreciate its music; even a first-grader like me back then could discern a fine tune! 

Do you remember Michael McDonald and Boz Scaggs? If you're 35 or older and say no, just Google a tune. If you're younger, still Google it, and enjoy a kind of music you probably haven't heard unless you're in the grocery store (provided you're not walking around with your own earbuds in). I knew most of the words to the songs they sang; I think we both felt like little kids again, hearing these two guys sing. Others there were taken back to high school or even to being in their twenties or older, but it doesn't matter; music is for everyone, regardless of your age, or its decade. We love Glenn Miller's orchestra, and that's World War II era! Go back to the twentieth century and find something different to listen to.

I wish the lady weren't behind us in the photo, but at least we got a shot of the House. It was a beautiful evening and setting, not hot...just right. I was so excited, I couldn't stand it. Michael McDonald, formerly of The Doobie Brothers, appeared on time, sat down at his keyboard, and rolled out all the tunes we knew, and even ones we didn't. At 64 years old, he still has his unmistakable voice, although hitting high notes was a little difficult. 

He sang all the familiar songs: "Sweet Freedom," "Minute by Minute," "It Keeps You Running," "I Keep Forgetting" (which, he said, he does a lot these days at his age), "On My Own," "Taking it to the Streets," and my favorite, "What a Fool Believes." He also added some random oldies like "I Heard it Through the Grapevine," and "What the World Needs Now." I was surprised when he threw in the Kenny Loggins song "This is It," in which he sang backup in 1979. McDonald is a likable performer who obviously delights in sharing his songs on stage.

As Michael was singing, I looked to the left, and a stunning full moon stared over the crowd, a reminder of God's provision, beauty, and goodness. To the right, I had this view:

As thrilling as it was to hear Michael McDonald, Boz Scaggs was even more fun. As a kid, I knew some of his songs, but have become more of a fan as an adult. 

This 72-year-old man performed with the energy he probably had thirty years ago, and with the same voice, too. He blew me away, and hearing his music live was exhilarating. His are the type of songs (Michael McDonald's, too) that should be listened to around the house while cooking or cleaning. Boz (too good a name to not use when talking about him) started off with some new songs I hadn't heard, then launched into my favorite, "Jojo," which sounded almost just like the recording from 1980. He, too, sang all the famous ones: "Lowdown," "Georgia," "Look What You've Done to Me," "Miss Sun," and did an amazing rendition of "Lido Shuffle." 

I rode home driving Jeremy nuts with all the video clips I'd taken, and might've created the same sensation for my parents with each new one I texted. I wanted to share these treasures! These are only two phenomenal artists whose music needs to be dusted off and heard today. Others I love and haven't mentioned are Billy Joel, Elton John, Christopher Cross, Paul Davis, Dan Fogelberg (I like his "harder" songs like "Missing You" and "Heart Hotels" better than the soft ones), Kenny Loggins (I did mention him), Men at Work, Tower of Power, Earth Wind & Fire, and even guys like Dave Matthews and Hootie, who had so much good stuff before 1995 when they became internationally known. 

Take the music dare...you'll be so glad! God gives us good music for our enjoyment, and it's because of Him that these performers are able to write and sing as they do. The pleasing sensation of a good song is a gift from God. Imagine how the songs of heaven will sound (we can't). Don't settle for mud pies when you can have a holiday!

The Curriculum Question

A common question I get is, "What curriculum do you use?"  There is no way to answer this in one word.  I wish I had at least an hour with those who ask, because I am a follower of the Charlotte Mason method.  Throughout my posts there will be references to Miss Mason, but I can attempt to capture her style in a few sentences: 

Charlotte Mason was a British teacher over a century ago.  She believed in the formation of habits, and that children were small people whose minds should be fed with ideas, mainly from a steady diet of books.  Miss Mason spoke sharply against children being read "twaddle," or or silly items that do nothing to provide enrichment.  She promoted the teaching of many subjects, each for ten or fifteen minutes at the most.  As a child matures, he or she should be assessed in the form of narration, or repeating back in his or her own words any and all information gleaned from the presented reading.  Children should be exposed to the best in literature, even if this means stretching a certain book out for a year or more because just one or two pages (or even paragraphs) are read each day.  Miss Mason believed in teaching her pupils to identify works of art, poetry, and music through daily study in these areas.  She also encouraged her students to keep nature journals in which they drew and recorded facts about what they saw in nature.

There is no one curriculum for those of us who enjoy the methods of Charlotte Mason.  The thrill is in piecing together one's own curriculum, and moving and shaping the instruction to best suit the individual.  I admire the writings of Karen Andreola and Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, and obviously have spent much time poring over the works of Mason herself.  I share all of this because I'm asked all the time, but also to give anyone who is interested a peek into how homeschooling works for us.

Our schooling is divided into table work, which starts around 8:45, followed by work we perform in the schoolroom.  Table work is done while my girls are still in their pajamas, after breakfast and a few minutes of playtime.  We memorize a Bible verse every week, which we read and recite, then do a reading from a supplemental Christian storybook.  Our math book is from Horizons, a fabulous program.  Colorful pages and various activities per page make work challenging yet fun.  Each child completes a page every day, and sometimes we do addition and subtraction flash cards to keep them on their toes.

Reading is also part of our table work time.  Each girl has part (or whole) of a story to read aloud to me, just so I can check progress.  I love using the reading program on which I learned to read: Open Court's Headway Program, no longer in publication, but worth paying a few bucks for on Amazon.  There is also a phenomenal web site put together by a former teacher; this is more valuable than gold for reinforcing and teaching phonics.  Other phonics resources we enjoy are Pathway's Climbing to Good English, as well as a gem I ordered from Amazon called Word Mastery by Florence Akin.

Poetry is easy to incorporate and takes literally two minutes.  Mason recommends choosing one poet and staying with him or her for a year, enjoying and learning different works by this individual.  My girls and I love Robert Louis Stevenson, and spend a few minutes on his poems three or four days a week.  We do one poem a week; one or two days, I read it to them; another day, they copy it or maybe only a verse if it's too long.  By the final day, they're ready to recite it along with me.  

Because I am a believer in teaching children cursive, we practice every day.  There is a Pentime book, but we also do random words and letters on paper or in the girls' notebooks.  Cursive is a form of art that will leave a terrible void in our culture if we allow it to slip away; it's a travesty that many educators find it acceptable to let it die.  

Once table work is completed, there is a break in schoolwork during which the girls get dressed and make their own beds.  If we have housework and are good on time, I may have them complete a chore before picking school back up again.  Today, for instance, their job was to vacuum and mop their bedroom floors.  Again, Mason was a believer in the formation of habits.  My girls are old enough to do their own floors, fold their own clothes, put dishes away, dust, clean up after our pet, and many other things that we moms exhaust ourselves doing for them.

Our school room is really a bright sunroom that is a perfect spot for our many books, games, Legos, desks, paper, drawing supplies, chalkboard, puzzles, and other creative treasures.  Here, we work on spelling, which I didn't think I had to teach at first, because reading came so easily.  However, I was informed that a good reader might still need help with spelling, and honestly, who is exempt from learning the spelling rules of our confusing English language?!  So I discovered All About Spelling and haven't looked back.  I admit, it's a tad regimented for my Charlotte Mason mind, but I'd be hard pressed to find anything better to teach the rules of spelling.  I divide each lesson into short, ten-minute exercises, as we don't enjoy camping out on any one task for too long.  I also take my own spelling words from the girls' reading or sight words that they need to learn, and make a list of 6-8 words per week that we spend time writing out, spelling aloud, and creating sentences with. (I know...preposition at the end of a sentence...what's one to do??)

I tried a real science curriculum that will be ideal in the future, but we have so much fun with animal books and nature study, why do anything else?  We go outside for a nature walk (as our science lesson) every Wednesday.  Each child has a nature notebook, or art sketchbook, and we decide what we will observe.  It may be a maple leaf, dandelion, certain bird, or simply the dew on a blade of grass.  In her notebook, each girl draws the object, writes the date, and we label it somehow:

                                                 "Sweet roses are treats for our noses."

Two days a week, we read a selection from a "living" science book.  Living books are non-textbooks, rich in description and ideas.  I have fallen in love with anything by Thornton Burgess, and so have my children.  His animal characters, with their funny comments and quirks, are delightful, and provide robust insight into the world of God's creatures, their habitats, instincts, and characteristics.  We are taking time to linger over The Burgess Bird Book for Children, reading a short chapter at a time, and taking in more than we thought we would ever know about any type of bird under the sun.  Burgess's books can be found at the local library or for pennies on Amazon, and cover every animal, from skunks to chipmunks to foxes to rabbits.  We have begun using Mason's assessment of narration, usually a paragraph at a time.

We cover history formally about three times a week, and I do use a curriculum, Beautiful Feet books.  Students read living books, and the teacher has the help of a guide to know what pages to read, and what to do with them.  I like to use the guide as just that, a guide, but will tweak things now and then.  There are verses and questions to go along with lessons, and we often color pages from the books and write sentences under them.  This year we have covered Leif Ericsson and just finished Christopher Columbus in time for Columbus Day.  The girls prepared an oral report in which they alternated telling facts from their book, as well as pointing out Spain, Italy, China, India, and Columbus's route to the New World on our well-worn globe.  Our principal (my dear husband), was the audience.

Charlotte Mason urged teachers to introduce 5-10 new foreign-language words to students per day.  Don't be alarmed by this.  I'm a Spanish-speaker, and even I bend this a little.  We incorporate a formal Spanish lesson three times a week.  Some days we sing a song, others we do some writing or read a short book.  My girls have learned Spanish phonics, which are much easier than English, and I will often choose five or six words to dictate and see if they can spell them based on their knowledge of sounds.  We are currently working on an oral dialogue in which they will take turns being doctor and patient, asking about and expressing what "hurts."  The principal looks forward to being the audience here, too. 

Copywork is a big deal among Charlotte Mason fans.  This involves copying a passage carefully several times a week in a notebook, reinforcing spelling, punctuation, and memorization.  We may do this with a poem, Bible verse, maxim from Poor Richard's Almanack, or any saying at all.  

As for art and music study, I confess my music study has been more stellar than the exposure I've given my kids to good art.  Rome wasn't built in a day!  I'm learning how to piece all of this together so we are finished by lunchtime and I don't feel totally overwhelmed.  We own a record player, but for music study, a cd player or even a YouTube clip works fine.  The idea, as with poetry, is to choose one composer and learn to appreciate his works.  My girls can identify some works of Tchaikovsky simply by my playing them while they do copywork or while we walk outside for fresh air.  I will select one piece, such as "Swan Lake," and play it over and over as we do another activity.  That's all; nothing more to it.  I imagine the art study is just as simple, as I will choose one artist, and merely have the girls observe the work of art.  I need not force my own opinions on them about it, as Mason says they will form their own in these short observations.  Children will learn to tell a Van Gogh from a Vermeer when this is done several times a week.

So, this is my school week in a nutshell:

 Now you have some understanding as to why, as a fan of Charlotte Mason, I need time to answer questions about curriculum and the flow of our day.  I'm crazy about Mason and her methods because they work and are delightful to boot.  Planning is work, but the execution of my plans brings fulfillment.  I will talk off the ear of anyone who wants to spend time on this topic, because I believe in it.