The German Bible

It's all because of Martin Luther, the Dreher family, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and C.S. Lewis...not necessarily in that order.  

In 1988, two 12-year-olds scribbled foreign words in notebooks in an attempt to learn another language. Corinne and I were best friends, both only children, both bilingual. My mom was Cuban; her parents were Swiss. We decided to teach each other Spanish and Swiss-German. Those lessons didn't last long, but the informal ones I was exposed to around the Dreher family have lasted my whole life.

I understood about immigration to America, and the community that forms around a language-speaking group. When my mom's family came to the Unites States in the early '60's, my grandparents grew a group of tightly-knit Spanish-speaking friends. Not all were Cuban; back then, anyone who spoke Spanish was a welcome friend for them in this strange land. I grew up around this circle of amigos, loving their culture and community. 

Vreni and Werner Dreher had a similar community of German-speaking friends. I would go to their house and be saturated in the Swiss-German they spoke to Corinne. I picked up some words, and especially felt the love of their culture. I went to their Lutheran church. Once, the entire service was in German! I didn't understand much, but was captivated by the sound and by the worshipers who had grown up speaking this strange language that was becoming familiar. 

Werner worked for a Swiss company. Corinne and I attended the Christmas party and I loved every minute of being around his colleagues and their families. He was an involved member of the Swiss American Society in our town, and in spring, Corinne and I worked at their booth overseeing the sale of desserts at the Spring Fling. I can still smell the meats, and hear the boisterous, cheerful, German music. This was a highlight of spring for us.

Vreni and her friend Rosemarie owned and operated the Deli Korner, a haven of food and products from German-speaking countries. My mouth waters when I think of the Fleischkäse and tea. I loved sitting there and laughing over lunch and conversation with friends like Barbel and Gerd. 

I try not to dwell on the regret I have over thirty years later that I didn't pursue German in school, or take advantage of having the Drehers at my disposal to teach me. Kids don't always appreciate the asset of another language, then as adults, we wish we'd have taken it seriously. I remind my children that now as I teach them Spanish. I'm eternally grateful to have been brought up bilingual, even though as a child I was shy about speaking it around others. I know that if children are exposed, the effort won't return void.

And for me, the German (or Swiss-German) hasn't been entirely lost. It's been there all along, simmering on the back burner of my brain. I've always had an interest in Alpine countries, in the charm of their folklore, in the pep of their people. I love tales of chalets, of animals deep in the forest. I had my own cardboard chalet as a child, that came with a Swiss Miss doll. It was big enough for my friends and me to play in, like an actual club house. I even married into a  Swiss family; my husband's ancestors came from St. Gallen. Corinne and he have said they might even be related, as her people were also from that area!

A pioneer of the faith that I admire greatly is Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He was martyred at the end of World War II for preaching Christ in Nazi Germany. I read the same book every Christmas of collections of his sermons and letters, God is in the Manger. Bonhoeffer's books are meaty and taxing to read. He has added to my interest in the German language.

Earlier this month, I read an outstanding book: Becoming Mrs. Lewis by Patti Callahan. This is the story of how Joy Davidman Gresham came to meet and marry C.S. Lewis. I've read many of Lewis's books, but Callahan's depiction of "Jack," as he was known, is captivating. I found myself envious of those who were invited to his lectures, and to talk about literature and life at his home in The Kilns. One tiny mention moved the long-simmering German pot from the back to the front burner for me: One quiet afternoon, Joy saw Jack reading his Bible; she wondered if it was perhaps in Latin, or in German.

I like to read my bilingual Spanish Bible, and I even have a Spanish-Latin book of prayers and Bible readings that I'll take down every now and then. But German! Now, there was an idea! 

Am I weird?, I wondered. Perhaps, but so was Jack Lewis. He and Tolkien made up entire languages, for Pete's sake! I felt like this was yet another way God was drawing me to who He created me to be, the girl who loves languages and learning, and ultimately toward Him, for His glory. I can't say exactly how He is using this, but I know there are probably a thousand reasons that I may never understand. 

I got online and found a Luther Bible. My girls and I had read in a school book that Luther had translated the Bible so that all Germans could understand God's Word, even before our King James was published. I read in the reviews that someone else had purchased a copy for the same reason, and that it had helped him immensely, not only to learn German, but to grow in God's Word.

I've started a special time that I look forward to every afternoon. God and I take this Bible and sit either at my desk with a candle, or outside on my bench. We first read the English, then the German. I pull out my translator and closely examine the words. We read over it another time or two. Then comes the really fun part: I listen to the audio on the Bible app! Boy, does that rattle off those words fast! As he speaks, I follow along in the Bible, enjoying the cadence of the speech. I ask God to help me understand! Sometimes I repeat phrases aloud. By the end of this time, my brain has fed on serious protein, and I've had a good mind workout! 

Thank you, my friend Jack Lewis: 

(There may be a German Bible on this desk!)

Thank you, brave Martin Luther: 

Thank you, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, for spurring me on in the cost of discipleship: 

And to Vreni, Corinne, and Werner, and their Swiss and German-speaking community, Danke vielmals! Gott liebt euch alle. 

(Vreni, Corinne, and Werner with Rosemarie Schwendeler [bottom center], and Corinne's aunt and uncle [from Switzerland]). 

 
Memories of what started it all: 

Werner played Santa (he sounded like St. Nikolaus!) at his work Christmas party, counting on Corinne and me to act as elves and hand out candy. (1990)

Corinne's confirmation, St. John's Lutheran Church, Spartanburg, SC, 1991. I was trying hard to be cool, surrounded by Corinne's family: Werner's sister, Rosemarie in background, Grossmami, Corinne, Vreni, me, and Vreni's brother. Werner must've taken the photo. 

With dear Werner, 1994. 

Just two weeks ago, sweet Vreni went to be with the Lord. She and Werner, who passed away in 2010, both knew Christ as their Savior. I wish I could practice my German with them, and hear Werner's booming voice correcting my pronunciation. He'd probably laugh at the "old-sounding" 1500's German I'm learning, as one who might learn English from the KJV. I liked to make him laugh!

Dank dir Jesus ❤️

To all the wonderful people in the Swiss and German-speaking community: Please excuse the use of "German" when the idea might be Swiss. It's kind of like in the Spanish-speaking community, when referring to the "Spanish" language while someone is from the Caribbean, or South America. Now we have the word "latino" to help us express anyone from any Spanish-speaking area. I wasn't sure how to get around this with my Swiss or German-speaking friends, and hope not to offend. I appreciate all of you, and your countries and culture!

--JBW

2017 Book List

I wrote in my last post about the books my children and I have read together in 2017. I've been encouraged by other Charlotte Mason moms to keep several books "going": one easy, one medium, and one hard. When I attempt only one book at a time, it can become tedious; I'm not always in the mood for the same reading. It's like being before a banquet; it's better to have a variety of food than to try to eat the same thing for days on end.

It's important that we feed our minds. I have a book bag that I carry around, a canvas bag that was mine as a kid. In it are all the books I'm reading at the moment. I take it upstairs at night and bring it down in the morning. I take it in my car when I think I'll have to wait somewhere. My book bag has become a fun, welcome friend. All the books I have "going" are in one place, easy to access. When people ask what I'm reading, I tell them, "It's my professional development." Charlotte Mason called it "Mother Culture." At any rate, we all need mind food.

I publish my lists for several reasons. One is to demonstrate that any mother or person can read a lot in a year. I do not spend hours on end reading every day. However, minutes here and there each day add up to a long list of books read! Another reason is to share examples of the wide feast. I read many old, rare, unheard-of titles that I like to resurrect. It's important to keep these titles in circulation. A third reason is simply to encourage others and myself to read as much as we can.  

Here is my personal list of books completed in 2017:

Little Rosebud by Beatrice Harraden
This 1895 book was presented to me in 1984 by my grandmother, to her in 1934 by her grandmother, and to her grandmother in 1906 by her grandmother! One day I will follow suit and hopefully have a granddaughter to whom it will pass. Thirty-three years after receiving it, I finally read it. The story is a simple, charming one, about a little girl and a pet store owner pal.

Allison’s Girl by Theodore Acland Harper
This, too, belonged to my same grandmother as a teenager. It was boring in places; overall an okay, non-compelling story.

The Diseasing of America’s Children by John Rosemond and Bose Ravenel
Eye-opening and packed with research, Rosemond and Ravenel argue the legitimacy of many "syndromes" that have overtaken today's children, including ADD. 

The Mystery of the Vanishing Lady by Helen Wells
This is part of the Vicki Barr series about a young lady who flies planes and solves mysteries. I found it uninteresting except for the mysterious aspect, which dragged a little too long.

The Horse and Buggy Doctor by Arthur E. Hertzler
The fascinating point of view of a "modern" (1930's) doctor looking back at his early years as a young horse-and-buggy traveling doctor. The information stood alone as interesting, but the author's arrogance got too much in the way.

Openness Unhindered by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield

Written for Christians by a former lesbian atheist, an interesting look at how believers can love the homosexual population as image-bearers without condoning the lifestyle.

Parnassus On Wheels by Christopher Morley
Many thanks to Nancy Kelly for introducing me to this gem about a bookstore on wheels! A must-read for all book-lovers.

Mere Motherhood by Cindy Rollins
The story of a Charlotte Mason mom and her homeschooling journey that began in the early 1980's. Very encouraging to those of us who are doing it in these modern times!

The Brand New Parson by Sara Jenkins
Hardback 1940's book bought at the library for a quarter, this is the story of a new Methodist preacher who is unsure of himself as well as of God's truth. It's fun to see him grow more confident in his faith through challenges and uncertainty.

Breaking Free by Beth Moore
This is a 12-week study the ladies of our community group and I did together. The topic is identifying and healing from wounds and generational curses. Like any Moore study, the work was lengthy, but I enjoyed digging into the Word and facing this challenging subject with ladies close to me. 

Laurel’s Choices by Exie Wilde Henson
Based on real experiences of her parents, Henson (our cousin) describes life in a primitive Pisgah Forest, NC logging camp in the 1930's. 

Samuel Skinker and His Descendants by Thomas Keith Skinker
This is a family treasure for descendants of the Skinker family. It's jammed with personal accounts of ancestors: descriptions of their lives, wills, letters, diary entries, and family trees. I'm amazed at the tremendous amount of work that Skinker did over twenty years to complete this book in 1923. It's a personal book divided into chapters, rather than pages of impersonal pedigrees.

Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt
The heartbreaking story of McCourt's childhood as the son of a lazy Irishman and his neglectful, depressed wife. As hard as some parts were to read, I loved McCourt's style. His transparency gives insight into the wounds that many contend with into adulthood.

A Turtle on a Fencepost by Allan C. Emery, Jr. 
I read this book over the course of about a year in bits and pieces. Emery shares delightful, rich tales about his life and growth as a Christian.

How to Keep Well by Albert Blaisdell, M.D.
An 1890's book designed as an instruction manual for young people. Blaisdell gives vivid descriptions of organs and systems, as well as sometimes funny advice about staying healthy.

Mary on Horseback by Rosemary Wells

A short work that reminds me of Hertzler's Horse and Buggy Doctor, about a female nurse and her rounds on horseback. A good story also for children that can be read in one sitting.

Six Ways to Keep the “Little” in Your Girl by Dannah Gresh 
Gresh addresses the fact that if we don't speak to our daughters about their bodies, the culture will do it for us. She supplies examples of scenarios and questions, giving parents confidence to tackle tough topics.

William Henry Harrison: Young Tippecanoe by Howard Peckham
Simple book for children about the childhood of President William H. Harrison. Good for history and narration, although I read it to myself.

A Chicken’s Guide to Talking Turkey With Your Kids About Sex by Dr. Kevin Leman & Kathy Flores Bell
The title explains it thoroughly! This was an easy read that will give parents confidence and relief. As with Gresh's book, the authors lay out the importance (from a Christian point of view) of having these challenging discussions, beginning in the pre-teen years.

Miracles by Eric Metaxis 

Not my favorite Metaxis book, but an okay read. Overall an interesting account of various miracles in the lives of ordinary people, once I made it through the scientific talk in the beginning. I prefer his biographies, and enjoy his radio podcast.

A Book of Curious Advice: Most Unusual Manners, Morals, Medicine From Days of Yore Edited by Ruth Pepper Summers
Worth picking up for the humorous and sometimes ghastly old home remedies! 

Candy Stripers by Lee Wyndham
This was a 1950's paperback I saw on Pinterest, and the cute, vintage cover compelled me to buy it on Amazon. It's a typical cheesy teenage story mixed with romance about a girl facing a boring summer, so she volunteers as a candy striper at the local hospital. It's an easy, mindless read for those nights when you want to pick up a book but aren't up to much.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
Ah...the book that's referenced in culture, but that I hadn't read until now. The rich vocabulary and prose made up for the fact that I already knew what was going to happen. It's a fairly easy read, and not long.

The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer 
This book took me an entire year to read. Bonhoeffer is worth the journey, but cannot be hurried. Reading his works is like eating chocolate mousse; you savor one small bit and have to go back to it later. Keep it handy and take in a little a few times a week.

Mentoring: Confidence in Finding a Mentor and Becoming One by Bobb Biehl 
I usually can't stand books like this, and began it half-heartedly as a recommendation from a pastor at church. This is one time I was wrong! Biehl's likable style kept me interested in what it means to be a mentor, what to look for in one, and what it doesn't entail. It can be read in a few sittings, and is valuable for everyone.

The Old Peabody Pew by Kate Douglas Wiggin
This is a beautiful book from 1906 that I bought at a library sale. It's a light, simple tale about several generations of church members and a long-lost love. Each page of this Christmas tale is adorned with holly and berries around the text, enhancing its attractiveness. 


He’s Gonna Toot and I’m Gonna Scoot by Barbara Johnson

Barbara Johnson is a mentor I'll never meet till heaven, but her outlook on life has been medicine to me over the years. Her books are easy to recognize, and the stories often repeat, but I love her jokes, quotes, and anecdotes. Barbara took the pain from many life tragedies and turned it into good for uplifting others. Keep her books handy for a daily dose of humor and God's love.

At Home in Mitford by Jan Karon

I attempted to read this book years ago in an immature stage of life when I was unable to appreciate it. How glad I am to revisit Mitford with new eyes! Pastor Tim, Cynthia, and the gang become like treasured friends. The simplicity of their small-town lives isn't without trials. When I finish the series, I want to read it again and again!

The Mansion by Henry Van Dyke
A short, small old book I also got at the library sale, one that can be read in a day or two. Okay but not compelling, it's the tale of a young man and his strained relationship with his father. The physical beauty of the book remains more impressive to me than the story.

Bo’s Cafe by John Lynch, Bill Thrall, and Bruce McNicol
Recommended by a mentor and friend, this is a must-read for anyone wanting to live and grow in community with fellow Christians. It's a fictional description of what "doing life" looks like with messy, broken people.

Why Johnny Can’t Read by Rudolf Flesch 
I wrote a blog post about this book, the impressive research done by Flesh regarding teaching reading with sight (whole) words versus a phonetic approach. His argument against the whole word method is compelling.

Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices by Thomas Brooks
Tim Keller mentioned this in a sermon. A rich treasure trove to make us aware of the devil's lies and how to combat them, this book was written in the 1600's and is still every bit relevant today. It took several months to get through because of its weighty nature, but what a weapon! 

Surprised By Joy by C.S. Lewis
This is the autobiography of Lewis, mainly describing his upbringing and conversion to Christianity. True to Lewis, there are many quotes to ponder, sentences to re-read for their richness, and a lot of explanation of his love for fantasy and science fiction. I enjoyed getting to know "Jack" the person, and found that I surprisingly have a lot in common with him.

Fraulein Schmidt and Mr. Anstruther by Elizabeth von Armin
Another library sale book written in 1906, this is written as a series of letters from Rosemarie Schmidt to Roger Anstruther. I never knew what turns her writing or their relationship would take. At times it was hilarious and easy to read, and other parts are hard to get through. Fraulein tends to enjoy finding vent with her pen! I liked it for all the German vocabulary, which I had fun looking up on my German app. 

A Light in the Window by Jan Karon 
The second book of the Mitford series, and as charming and fun as the first. These books have me wanting to live in Mitford and be a part of their crew!

How Should We Then Live? by Francis Schaeffer

This famous work eerily foreshadows life today in our culture. I think of this book as "Culture 101," with "Professor" Schaeffer as my guide into the nuts and bolts of life from Ancient Rome to the 1970's, when it was written. It's a survey of famous names, events, and ideas, just enough information to leave me wanting to look up more about everything. I took about six months with this book, because the information is so vast and rich, I often had to stop after each sentence and chew on the idea. I imagine how wonderful it would be to stop the author and ask countless questions, soaking in his own wisdom about the topics. I'd call it a textbook that's not a textbook!

Selections From:
The Bible
Essential every day, I desire it like food or air. John Piper says, "I love the Bible. It's not a superficial book; it's a deeply profound book." How else will we grow in Christ, and understand God and his love for us more deeply? I prefer NKJV in the morning, KJV at night, ESV at church, NIV audio on my Bible app, and MSG when I'm curious about Peterson's translation!

Charlotte Mason's series
I confess, although I follow the methods of Charlotte, her essays are not easy. However, I must stay in them for professional and personal development. There is much to learn from her wisdom, although it sometimes feels that her tough love borders on self-righteousness. What I do appreciate is her legacy of love for God and all children, and her challenges to raise the bar. Her methods work for everyone, and are revolutionary to education.

The Optimist's Good Morning and The Cloud of Witness
I make reference to these works throughout my blog, especially The Cloud, which was Charlotte Mason's gift to graduating students. They are easy to pick up and read daily, or to pick back up after a hiatus. Both are books with poems, prayers, verses, etc. set aside for each day. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Here's to a 2018 be full of riveting reading!

Good Music

One thing my husband and I have always loved is music. We are both blessed to have been exposed to many genres over our lives. His Dad introduced him early on to Gene Pitney and to musicals like "South Pacific" and "Oklahoma!"; my Dad drove me to school every morning singing along to Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons, Johnny Mathis, and Tommy James and the Shondells. As children, Jeremy and I both gained an appreciation for our parents' musical era while also loving what was popular at the time. The eighties had a wide range of sounds: from Van Halen to Hall and Oates, from The Outfield to Chicago, from Belinda Carlisle to Metallica...we grew up hearing it all. 

As fans of nostalgia living in a hipster time and area, we often bemoan today's contemporary tunes, with their lack of creativity and annoying monotony. Like adults have always said of top 40 music, "There's just nothing good anymore." The hard part is, I think this time it's true; today's songs really all do sound the same, and what we've found is that our millennial friends have no idea that up until about twenty years ago, "good music" actually did exist! Unfortunately, there's something uncool for many folks about going into the past; surely we're enlightened enough to not have to do that! 

It seems to us almost a crime that "young folks" today (i.e., those who don't remember or weren't exposed to any music before 1995) have no clue of the musical feast that has been prepared and set before us. Actually, it's not just younger people; there are plenty of ones my age (40) who act as if they've never heard good music at all, clinging to today's stations as if it's cool. The twenty somethings have a reason, but what's your excuse if you graduated from high school before the year 2000?  

If I sound indignant, it's because I am! C.S. Lewis once described us as "an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." Now, he was talking about us in reference to the Lord, and how we settle for mediocrity too easily, but I think this quote captures our lack of variety in musical taste, too. Our culture "settles" for things too easily; we accept lack of imagination too readily, and can't fathom going outside the box. 

Wise Solomon, in Ecclesiastes, states that there is nothing new under the sun. This has to be true, as God Word says it is so. We see things today as revolutionary, new, cool, head and shoulders better than anyone has ever done them. Music is no different. I witness folks who have had the misfortune of never hearing truly good music playing with mud pies, having no idea that if they just got on YouTube or iTunes, they could broaden their horizons, and have a holiday at the sea. Dare to go back...way back...maybe to...dare I risk being uncool...oh, the '70's or '80's? 

Jeremy and I took this dare last week, although for us, it wasn't terribly risky since we already listen to old stuff. The challenge was being not stared at as we boarded the shuttle at Biltmore Estate with people fifteen to twenty-five years older than we are. My indignation rose then, too, as I thought, "Where are the people in their forties who grew up with this stuff? Why do we look like tots compared to these other folks?!" I didn't think one had to be twenty in 1982 to appreciate its music; even a first-grader like me back then could discern a fine tune! 

Do you remember Michael McDonald and Boz Scaggs? If you're 35 or older and say no, just Google a tune. If you're younger, still Google it, and enjoy a kind of music you probably haven't heard unless you're in the grocery store (provided you're not walking around with your own earbuds in). I knew most of the words to the songs they sang; I think we both felt like little kids again, hearing these two guys sing. Others there were taken back to high school or even to being in their twenties or older, but it doesn't matter; music is for everyone, regardless of your age, or its decade. We love Glenn Miller's orchestra, and that's World War II era! Go back to the twentieth century and find something different to listen to.

I wish the lady weren't behind us in the photo, but at least we got a shot of the House. It was a beautiful evening and setting, not hot...just right. I was so excited, I couldn't stand it. Michael McDonald, formerly of The Doobie Brothers, appeared on time, sat down at his keyboard, and rolled out all the tunes we knew, and even ones we didn't. At 64 years old, he still has his unmistakable voice, although hitting high notes was a little difficult. 

He sang all the familiar songs: "Sweet Freedom," "Minute by Minute," "It Keeps You Running," "I Keep Forgetting" (which, he said, he does a lot these days at his age), "On My Own," "Taking it to the Streets," and my favorite, "What a Fool Believes." He also added some random oldies like "I Heard it Through the Grapevine," and "What the World Needs Now." I was surprised when he threw in the Kenny Loggins song "This is It," in which he sang backup in 1979. McDonald is a likable performer who obviously delights in sharing his songs on stage.

As Michael was singing, I looked to the left, and a stunning full moon stared over the crowd, a reminder of God's provision, beauty, and goodness. To the right, I had this view:

As thrilling as it was to hear Michael McDonald, Boz Scaggs was even more fun. As a kid, I knew some of his songs, but have become more of a fan as an adult. 

This 72-year-old man performed with the energy he probably had thirty years ago, and with the same voice, too. He blew me away, and hearing his music live was exhilarating. His are the type of songs (Michael McDonald's, too) that should be listened to around the house while cooking or cleaning. Boz (too good a name to not use when talking about him) started off with some new songs I hadn't heard, then launched into my favorite, "Jojo," which sounded almost just like the recording from 1980. He, too, sang all the famous ones: "Lowdown," "Georgia," "Look What You've Done to Me," "Miss Sun," and did an amazing rendition of "Lido Shuffle." 

I rode home driving Jeremy nuts with all the video clips I'd taken, and might've created the same sensation for my parents with each new one I texted. I wanted to share these treasures! These are only two phenomenal artists whose music needs to be dusted off and heard today. Others I love and haven't mentioned are Billy Joel, Elton John, Christopher Cross, Paul Davis, Dan Fogelberg (I like his "harder" songs like "Missing You" and "Heart Hotels" better than the soft ones), Kenny Loggins (I did mention him), Men at Work, Tower of Power, Earth Wind & Fire, and even guys like Dave Matthews and Hootie, who had so much good stuff before 1995 when they became internationally known. 

Take the music dare...you'll be so glad! God gives us good music for our enjoyment, and it's because of Him that these performers are able to write and sing as they do. The pleasing sensation of a good song is a gift from God. Imagine how the songs of heaven will sound (we can't). Don't settle for mud pies when you can have a holiday!

Sunday Thoughts

                                                        Help me not to be unwise

                                                        To view my life through my flawed eyes;

                                                        Instead through Yours, which see things true.

                                                        Almighty power does renew.

                                                                                                          --J.B.W.

                                                Ah! Happy they whose hearts can break

                                                And peace of pardon win!

                                                How else may man make straight his plan

                                                And cleanse his soul from sin?

                                                How else but through a broken heart

                                                May Lord Christ enter in?

                                                                                               --Oscar Wilde,

                                                                                               From "The Ballad of Reading Gaol"

Grace to Build Takeaways

The first weekend of this month, I attended a new homeschool retreat in my area, "Grace to Build."  This is no ordinary conference, but a gathering of parents who specifically use the Charlotte Mason method in teaching.  Every seminar was packed with jargon and precepts well-known to "CM'ers," as we call ourselves.  I  was well-submerged in CM bliss, and left overflowing.  With all the information, there are two particular ideas that I felt led to apply immediately.

One was highlighted by Sonya Shafer, a fellow homeschool mom and authority in the CM community.  Any CM'er is familiar with Sonya and her wide array of books, videos, and talks on methods and habit training.  I enjoyed a morning in a group in which Sonya was the instructor, and we adults got to be students under the CM method.  We covered natural history, arithmetic, ancient history, singing, repetition, writing, and Spanish, all in under three hours.  

How refreshing to be the pupil, reading, narrating, and learning a rich variety of living ideas!  Surprisingly, after such robust instruction, my brain was not exhausted, but rather invigorated.  Sonya had not pounded dry, meaningless facts into our minds, but had exposed us to full-bodied ideas that we consumed eagerly.  My takeaway from the exercise was that my own teaching needed to be varied concerning the order in which I presented the subjects.  The meaningful instruction was there, but I couldn't wait for Monday so I could change the topics around.

For example, as I wrote in another post, I used to do all the "table" work in one sitting.  We covered reading and spelling back to back, and would do our science and history (in which I read aloud) together, too.  Sonya pointed out that when we sequence the lessons differently, then the brain's activity is more varied, thus enabling full attention.  Now, our order looks more like this: Bible verse, penmanship, history, math, reading/phonics, science, Spanish (oral), poetry.  I have noticed more enthusiasm from all of us, and brains that are not as tired.

The other takeaway that stood out for me came from a talk that I attended given by Cheri Struble, mother of nine.  She called it "Mothers as Persons," and if anyone is qualified to speak to the idea of mothers acknowledging our own personhood, it is she (I so wanted to say "her," but just can't do it in a post about CM!).  This is not about the "me time" so many modern moms complain they never get.  It also is not going to Starbucks or shopping alone for an hour.  Those things aren't bad, but Cheri's discussion centered on giving ourselves brain food, ideas for our own minds.

As someone who has valiantly been engaged in the battle of the mind, I was all ears.  There are no "steps" to this, nor a "how-to."  When mothers, especially those who are with children all day, do not respect our own personhood, Cheri says we end up empty, moving along through our tasks like robots, eventually stuck in a pit.  We need not be convinced that a "feast of ideas" is essential for our kids, yet are we pursuing this for ourselves?  Our minds thrive on meaty, living ideas, and it is imperative that we moms make small stops throughout the day to read a poem or a few paragraphs, take a few laps around the yard, and allow ourselves to "go out to play," as Charlotte wisely advised.

The main idea is: READ!  Not an entire book a week, but a few pages.  CM'ers talk about always having "something going" in the way of books, and Cheri was specific about this.  She recommends three books at a time: a novel, a moderately easy (medium-hard) one, and a "stiff," or difficult one.  Cheri herself has been reading Les Miserables for three years now, and is committed to it as long as it takes.  That's one thing I love about the CM method: it's a marathon, not a sprint; we are about quality, not quantity.  If half a page is all one can manage, then it's enough.  Our goal is not to plow through a work, having no idea what we just read or why we bothered with it.  We are after ideas, slowly savoring each sentence, even requiring ourselves as moms to narrate what we read.  There is immense freedom in treating books this way, allowing ourselves to enjoy them rather than having pressure to finish by a certain date.  We can see reading in a whole new light.

Some CM'ers have as many as nine or ten books going at a time.  The three that I am currently reading are:

Novel (easy): Little Women by Louisa May Alcott.  I only classify it as "easy" because it is my third time through it, and each time is not only more simple, but more delightful.  If you never read this classic, allow yourself the indulgence of time with the dear March sisters and their adoring mother, Marmee.

Moderately Easy: The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis.  If you have avoided this book because the main characters are demons, fear not.  Again, as someone familiar with the enemy's tactics, this book does not scare me, but rather serves to further expose his vile trickery and lies.  As in all his works, Lewis does not disappoint, displaying his usual genius and exposure of truth.  What causes Screwtape to fall into the "medium-hard" category is that the reader must become accustomed to the wording.  Because Screwtape, speaks in the first person, his "good" is actually evil, while "evil" is God's will; the "Enemy" is God, and "our father" is Satan.  This is a must for everyone, Christ-follower or not.

Difficult: Ourselves by Charlotte Mason, herself!  This book is actually two in one, and number four in a six-volume set of Charlotte's published essays.  A true CM'er must obviously spend time with Charlotte's writings, but I believe that they hold appeal for those who use other methods, too.  Although interesting, the material is about pedagogy in general, and Mason's rich words and references often cause the reader to reread sentences several times, even looking up the meaning of her colorful vocabulary.  In order to ingest Charlotte's ideas, I can only handle a few pages at a time; she herself required her students to read Ourselves, only two pages per week!  Charlotte wrote this work to provide students with an insight into human behavior, and to give them an idea of possibilities within themselves for good and evil.  

I also often refer to my favorite "go-to" besides the Bible: The Essential Works of Charles Spurgeon, ed. by Daniel Partner.  This volume of over a thousand pages is crammed with Spurgeon sermons, books, and even his autobiography.  Sometimes just a paragraph is enough to give me mind-food on which to chew for a whole day.

Within our homeschool, my girls and I have several books going as well:
Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan, the Abeka version designed for children.  Although Charlotte stayed away from "versions" of original works, I do not always adhere to the same principle (don't tell other CM'ers!). 

The Burgess Bird Book for Children by Thornton Burgess.  I recommend anything at all by this delightful author, who makes all animals real, alive, and fun for children and adults.  We read a chapter at a time, and have a corresponding Pinterest board with a photo and information about each bird.

Pilgrim Stories by Margaret Pumphrey.  In my humble opinion, this must be read by anyone who celebrates Thanksgiving!  We read it twice a week, about ten pages at a time, and usually paste a picture from it in notebooks, including copywork with a corresponding sentence.

Little Women, already mentioned, which means I am reading it for the fourth time as I read it a third time!  I am about halfway through in my personal reading, but the girls and I read only six or seven pages at a time.  So far, they are as enchanted as I am, and we have decided which characters we each represent.  Can you guess who they are??

Finally, in the evenings, my husband and I each have two separate books going with each girl, and alternate who reads to whom before bed, in addition to nighttime Bible reading.  I am enjoying a different book from the Nancy Drew series with each daughter.  Never having read these in childhood, I am completely sold on them as an adult.  The challenging vocabulary and engaging plots add to our solid diet of idea-food.

As rich as the retreat was, it has been easy to incorporate some simple principles and habits into our school and my life as a mom.  I am grateful to God for adding to the soundness of my mind with these ideas, and I believe all adults can form the habit of reading snippets during a busy day.

A Vile Attack Against My Motherhood

My motherhood and relationship with my children has been under attack since I was a child myself.  If a little girl can be made to feel useless and dirty, then she has the potential to grow into a mother who is easy prey for the enemy's lies. She fears at every turn that her toxicity has seeped into the hearts and minds of her little ones. 

There is a "protector" piece of my heart that usurped God's role as Protector long ago; one who, out of good intentions, felt it was her job to rescue little, helpless me.  My head is understanding that Christ wants to tenderly take my self-created protector and gently sit her down so He can take over what belonged to Him in the first place.  My heart is taking its time getting there, but God knows how to heal my wounds His own way.  David says in Psalm 27, "Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord." (27:14, my italics).  I also see a perfect picture of God's protection in Psalm 23.  Sometimes it takes a while for my heart to catch up to what my head "knows," but I rest in the fact that God's Word says it, even if I have trouble getting it.  My heart isn't beyond His reach.

There is a balance between awareness of the enemy's schemes to derail us, and being obsessed with how he works.  Christ Himself was looked upon as a target and had apt words for Satan, yet He never feared or went looking for him.  In the preface to The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis notes,

"There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils.  One is to disbelieve in their existence.  The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them.  They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight." (Lewis, 1942)

My position is that although most Christ-followers acknowledge the presence of evil, many fail to see the slow, deliberate damage done through the wiles of the enemy and his minions.  We fret and fear, wallowing in guilt and self-condemnation because of the lies he shrewdly weaves into our daily lives.  It is time to expose the darkness and live in the freedom that Christ has given us.  Note that this is not said motivational speaker-style, fist in the air, expecting applause and "Amen!"s.  These are the trenches of the narrow road, calling only those courageous enough to be "refined...but not as silver...tested...in the furnace of affliction" (Isaiah 48:10).  This is walking "through the valley of the shadow of death"-type stuff (Psalm 23:4).  Paul describes it in 2 Corinthians 12:7 as "a thorn in the flesh...a messenger of Satan to buffet me," and begged the Lord "three times" to take it away.  This, brother or sister in Christ, is what we have signed up for.

Because my eyes have been opened to the schemes of the fiend, his maneuvers to scare me and get me to believe lies have kicked up to the varsity level.  I will not relent in making the darkness manifest.  We need to stand up to him, to beat him at his own game.  Charles Spurgeon, the "prince of preachers," wrote in his work, All of Grace,

"'Oh,' said the devil to Martin Luther, 'you are a sinner.'

'Yes,' said he, 'Christ died to save sinners.'  Thus he smote him with his own sword." (From The Essential Works of Charles Spurgeon, published by Barbour Publishing, Inc. Used by permission).

How do we know when the enemy is at work?  Well, we can be sure he is striving at all times to deflate our trust in Christ.  As I said at the beginning of this post, he has ruthlessly attacked the tender areas of my femininity and especially my motherhood.  He seeks not only to cause my failure as a mother, but to make me question God's sovereignty and protection in these areas.

My girls and I have taken an interest in the Titanic.  After reading several books and listening to a fascinating CD, I decided they would enjoy the James Cameron movie from 1997.  Having viewed this picture several times, I was well aware of the inappropriate love scene between Jack and Rose, as well as the scene during which he sketches her nude body.  I felt comfortable enough with navigating us through the unnecessary storylines that Hollywood invariably weaves into otherwise decent plots, and remembered there was a lot of foul language to be muted in the underwater present-day scene.

However, in spite of my efforts to be "protector," forgotten problems slipped in.  When the nude sketch of Rose is discovered in the beginning of the movie, it is placed in water and shown.  Somehow I had not recalled this, and maybe thought it was only her face that we would see this early in the movie.  At any rate, as the camera panned farther down the drawing of Rose's naked, provocative body, I couldn't fumble fast enough to forward us through the scene.  Thinking that would be my only blunder, we watched on...until the scene happened where Jack takes out his sketch book and Rose flips through the pages.  I only remembered seeing a woman dressed in an old coat and wearing pearls; imagine my horror when Rose flipped to a page revealing nude women!  Strike two, and it was too late to take it back.  

What I had intended to use as an illustration of our favorite historical topic ended up providing a different kind of education to my young girls.  And make no mistake, the enemy had a field day.  "What kind of mother exposes her children to this?" I asked myself.  No...the enemy said it, and I believed it.  "They were innocent until I allowed them to watch that." And the implication is that I set out to pollute their minds...because I'm toxic, remember?

Now, I know that we cannot shelter our children from all the horrible things on television and out in public.  But I was having a terrible time not believing the lies that "I've seen this movie countless times.  How could I not know that part was coming up?  They'll see these images forever.  They're scarred for life.  Their thinking will be warped.  I'm exposing my children to porn.  I could've stopped it if I had moved faster.  Other mothers may mess up, but never like this." Even when I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to "fear not," and the Lord said to me in a dream that He remembers my iniquities no more, and my girls will remember this no more, still I couldn't allow myself complete peace.  Why?

Again, the enemy has woven his sick web of dirtiness around me for a long time.  One day when this was particularly eating away at me, I asked God for help in allowing me to see the deeper issue.  I saw little girl-me having access to dirty magazines, and wondering why pretty ladies like those were posing for cameras without their clothes on.  Little girl was confused as to why men would want to look at that, and oh no!  I just saw it, so I must be unclean.  The memory of it was painful and when counselor-friend asked me to "feel" it again, I wasn't sure I could go there.  

See, the enemy was there long ago, making a little girl feel vile and confused, preparing her to be a mother and experience those feelings double by convincing her that now, her children would also feel gross and by the way...it's because of her.  He will pull the vilest plans out of the gutter and relish in using them not only against us, but also against our children.  And while another mother might have had the same situation happen to her, if she has a healthy history and doesn't fear contaminating her children, she might just say, "Oops!" and move on.

God can redeem anything.  Remember Romans 8:28?  It's not just for coffee cups.  "All things working for good" isn't always rosy and pretty.  He takes the ugly and exposes it.  He is bringing my fears and the lies I've believed to the surface and lovingly having me face them in order to make my heart whole.  We can't just panic in the face of the enemy's web; we have to do as Martin Luther did, and smite him with his own sword.

Back to the nude scenes.  It might not have been the day I would've chosen, but God allowed me to have some sensitive talks with my girls.  I explained that God designed their bodies beautifully.  It's okay for me to help them when they need it, and for the doctor to examine them, but other than that, those bodies are being saved for their wedding nights one day in the future.  That wedding night will be special, and their husbands will be chosen especially for them by God.  Sadly, there are women who will believe that it's okay to take off their clothes for any man, and they will do things like be drawn or photographed.  I asked them, is it ever okay to allow anyone other than the ones we've mentioned to see you naked?  After their resounding "No!", I reminded them that I was sorry they had to see those scenes, and they can always ask me about anything.

Since that day, not only does the enemy continue to attempt to throw guilty feelings at me, he tries to make me fear the contamination of my girls' purity.  He puts scary images in my mind of things that sick people could do to them, and seeks to make me afraid to help them with normal, everyday things like drying off after a shower.  If he can make a mother back off in areas important to her children's upbringing, sacred areas like a girl's view of her body, then he could make my girls wonder, "What's wrong with me that causes my mom to back off?  I must be bad in some way." Again, we're not talking about fluffy "I'm in a valley"-type Christianity here.  This is war.

Sharing this with whoever wants to read it is nothing I take lightly.  I feel like I'm the one who's naked, bearing myself and my soul before everyone.  It's too important to not do it, though.  My head knows that I'm not crazy, that I'm not toxic to my kids or anyone else, and that I don't think the horrible thoughts the Father of Lies puts before me.  

As I said, God is getting me to a place where my heart will believe it, too.  It requires a little girl learning all over again that she is beautiful in His eyes because He made her that way.  It means that she will have to run the race with perseverance, and spit in the face of the serpent who seeks to keep her where she's been for so long.  It means trust, something she never learned to do.  It means hanging on to Jesus's every word of, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.  I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it to the full" (John 10:11).  It means allowing Him to love me through this, and move my heart toward knowing Him as Protector through the harrowing experience I know as sanctification.