Inside-Out

I had a discussion recently with someone about "inside-out" change. When we want to change a behavior, we tend to attempt "outside-in" fixes, which end up being band-aids that don't address the root of things. Years and years pass, and all we have to show for our best "outside-in" efforts is wasted time, frustration, exhaustion, and wounds that are still gaping. 

This "inside-out" change has been the topic of many more discussions since the first. The Lord gave me a clear word three years ago: "Be renewed in the spirit of your mind" (Ephesians 4:23). This "renewal," I've learned, has to be "inside-out," because no "outside-in" solutions work. It's what only the Holy Spirit can do, without my continued interference. I've also learned that this requires me to confess my tendency to "perform," rather than to be still and obey.

We live in a shallow culture, and in many ways, the American church culture looks no different than the world. I'm convinced that "inside-out" transformation is difficult because of our desire for quick fixes, as well as our inability to be vulnerable with others. Part of "inside-out" change requires discovering who we really are, which means taking off well-built masks we wear to cover up the "real us" from the world. God always knows the real identity behind those masks, and they're worth getting to know because they're who He created us to be. The process is an arduous one. 

Even with a week of stress from several directions, I have been mindful of this "good fight of the faith" (1 Timothy 6:12). John Piper says, "Make war!" Nehemiah says, "Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes" (4:14). As I felt the fog and fuzzy focus of stress, I recalled Psalm 18:29 and 34: "By my God I can leap over a wall...He teaches my hands to make war."  

A member of my own "Cloud of Witnesses," Barbara Johnson, loved celebrating the first of every month. She would put clean sheets on the beds, or buy a nice bunch of fresh asparagus to cook. I'm remembering her today as I take time this afternoon to do things I enjoy: catching up on this blog, sitting with hot coffee, and reading as the rain falls outside and my girls play within. Here is some wisdom from Barbara: 

(From Mama, Get the Hammer...There's a Fly on Papa's Head!)

Eugene Peterson has a description for Barbara's "no microwave maturity;" he calls it "a long obedience in the same direction." May we never give up fighting in God's strength, for His glory. 

Odds & Ends...

Sweet Eliza presented me with a book that she found at an antique store, that she said was "me." What a joy to know what's really "me," and to have others know it, too. 

This well-loved volume is a collection of sweet illustrations with Bible verses.

 This little fella reminds me of my husband as a boy!

I like the verse that goes with him, too.

This is a list of ladies who presented the book to "Sandra," its original owner. Look at those names! Clara, Thelma, Ione, Bernice, Velma...even Edelweiss!

I love this vintage drawing of different children making a joyful noise!

Speaking of books (one of my favorite topics)... 

Remember Journey Cake Ho!? As most of the "old" books have been chucked from the library and replaced by twaddle, I was surprised to find it there. I have wonderful memories of this being at my elementary school library, and the cover was the same, but green. I read it to my kids one evening and didn't find the story as compelling as the charming illustrations (done by the beloved Robert McCloskey). However, we were tickled by the "journey" cake's "singing;" this, added to the well-remembered images of the cake bouncing downhill, endeared me anew to this book. 

And speaking of cakes...the girls made and decorated these all by themselves: 

They enjoy taking holiday treats to tennis clinics; the kids and coaches enjoy a reward after hard practice!

Something else my girls made: 

We have many more "handicraft" opportunities today than in Charlotte Mason's day! Not only do they spend time and imagination on Legos, there's also slime-making, wooden peg people to paint, and cereal boxes they turn into other crafts!

One more thing, something funny from school this morning: I spotted this drawing of two funny characters in Holling's Minn of the Mississippi... 

...and instantly recalled a photo of two other funny characters, my 3rd great-grandparents, Major Sebastian Wygal, and Rachel Hoge Wilson Wygal: 

The resemblance between them and Holling's drawing is uncanny, although I can't prove that he used these two as models! What do you think? 

Until next time!

Learning Ben-Style

Who knew that a Charlotte Mason education was a Benjamin Franklin education? 

(From Daugherty's Poor Richard)

Both this Founding Father and Charlotte Mason believed in two simple yet profound learning tools: books and narration. When we read this today, I said, "Girls, look! How did Ben prove to himself that he knew the material?" To which they responded, "Narration!" He read, then tested his knowledge of the information....Charlotte Mason's "art of knowing."

This way of teaching is radically counterculture! It's the complete opposite of how I learned in school, which was, "Memorize these dry facts, then choose the correct one on the multiple choice test." Most so-called "learning" was neither interesting nor worth retaining. I had nothing on which to base ideas of my own. We don't need silly songs or colorful gimmicks that wear us out to "entertain" our kids. The old method of reading and narration is working wonders, not just for my children, but for me. I'm a student right along with them!

I recommend this book to make genetics come alive: 

Did you know that Mendel experimented with over 28,000 plants in order to come to his conclusions about genetics, only to have his research rejected? It wasn't until 35 years after his death that his findings were dusted off and taken seriously. What I love about Charlotte Mason's methods is that not only do they teach students to know, but students will care. School is fun not because of a prize or incentive; ideas and true learning are the prize.

We are spending twelve weeks on the poetry of Tennyson, who I didn't hear of until high school, and by that time, I didn't much care. What a joy to really experience his words and poetry! 

So far, I think our most challenging reading is Plutarch's Lives. We get to spend twelve weeks on Julius Caesar. I read some lines and think, "I'm not sure I even understood much of that!" What I do tell them is that they aren't going to understand 100% of all we read. I ask them to take what they do get, even if it's only a word here or there, and hang on to that. I believe the more we read Plutarch, the more we'll start to comprehend. Some passages are easier than others, like anything else. 

Another especially meaty work this year is Thomas Bulfinch's Age of Fable, a book on mythology. So far, we've only read the author's preface. I love this selection: 

If only our culture were indeed a "cultivated" one in which allusions in this book were occasionally referenced! Boy, do I wish such allusions happened in "polite conversation." May we not completely lose the depth of ideas derived from rich literature and a feast of topics! Benjamin Franklin and Charlotte Mason both felt this way, I have no doubt.

As for math, the feast is also varied and taken in small bits. A young friend told my girls that she is required to complete fifty problems in seven minutes. Why? What if a kid does only five of those same problems in that time? Is this a contest in rushing through material and not caring, or should they linger over the problems and care about why math is useful? 

Did you actually know what "volume" meant, or were you just given a formula and told to spit out a number? Did you care, or were you trying to just get a hundred? Did you truly understand, as a child, what fractions meant...or were they just numbers above and below a line, that you were told to learn to "reduce," just for reduction's sake? Math has to mean something. I remember having to "know" (but not really know) a lot of stuff that didn't make sense, which made me not care about much except filling in blanks and passing a test.

The highlight of our school day is reading Robinson Crusoe. Charlotte didn't believe in watered-down versions, so this is the real, unabridged work. I think it's important to remember that such stories were, in fact, written for children! We read four pages four days a week, and I keep the globe handy. One thing I enjoy most about Robinson is his humanity, how he struggles mightily like Paul in Romans 7, torn between knowing right and wrong, yet doing what he hates. 

Ben and Charlotte were on to something. This kind of teaching and learning is for everyone. Each individual has the autonomy to take his or her own tidbits from the vast feast, rather than having to robotically regurgitate one-size-fits-all material. There is freedom in learning Ben-style!

Forgiveness & Evangelism

These are two of many areas that stretch my faith greatly: forgiveness and evangelism. Forgiveness, meaning my understanding that through Christ, I'm forgiven; evangelism, as in how wimpy I can be when I don't allow God's help in telling others about Him.

I've come to depend on Psalm 103. The area around it in my Bible is crinkled with tear stains. I feel like I'm often on these pages because of my desperate plea to God to help me understand that I'm forgiven. Verse 3 clearly states that the Lord "...forgives all your iniquities," yet my heart doesn't truly believe this applies to me. When I admit it out loud, it sounds ridiculous: Christ's blood is able to cover all the sins of the world...except for mine. Not only is it a preposterous lie, it's prideful. I'm not above the God of the universe's healing.

Satan knows that I buy into taunts of my being unforgivable, that I brood over and revisit past transgressions time and again. The Holy Spirit is working on my heart greatly in this area. I hear the enemy voice jeering, "How could you? What kind of mother/wife/friend/Christian are you?" and I choose to fall into his trap rather than believing God. Why is it so hard?? Because strongholds can be grueling and time consuming to break, and because we don't always trust that God is for our good in the trial. I continue to go before the Lord and ask Him to "unite my heart to fear His name" (Psalm 86:11), and to keep me from being the one in James 1:8, a "double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."

John Piper says that we usually make a mistake in thinking we need to "forgive ourselves." Most of the time, it's another person against whom we've sinned, and that is the one from whom we must ask forgiveness. Once we go before that person, and also confess our transgression to God in repentance, that's it! I have a hard time "letting myself off the hook," though...as if I were on my own hook, anyway. Aren't I on God's? And if that's true, doesn't He get to be judge? Isn't He already the judge of the universe? 

I told a wise friend about a mistake I made, one that I keep coming back to in my mind. I told him I wished I could allow myself to be human and make mistakes. He answered that I had usurped God's role as judge, marking myself because of one mistake. If mine are the only mistakes God can't fix, my friend says, "then He doesn't get to be God." 

Yesterday I told my girls a piece of information I later wished I'd kept to myself. I went to them and confessed that I was wrong to say what I did, that it was gossip. I reminded them that we never arrive at a moment when we're not growing and asking for forgiveness, and I asked for theirs in not setting a good example. Immediately they started patting my head and face, cut off my speech, and both said, "It's ok, Mom! We love you!" I knew in this moment that this is how our Father responds when we go to Him with our sin. He doesn't say, "Hmmm...let me think about it, and I might forgive you," or, "I can't forgive you yet, but maybe when you reform a little more." No! He's quick to love us, to say that "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us" (Psalm 103:12). "As a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear Him" (103:13). 

Evangelism is another area where the Lord is nudging me to grow. I live in a country where I can worship and proclaim Christ freely, yet I often shrink in terror when I feel a prod to say something about Him. It seems absurd that people in the Middle East are jailed and beheaded for being Christians, while I sit here, afraid to broach the subject with people of peace! 

My husband and I have a custom: when we dine out, we always ask our waiter/waitress if we can pray for him/her when we ask our blessing. Most of the time this is received well, and people will share their stories with us. Last week, my husband felt such a burden for our waitress that he gave her his card and asked her to get in touch with us if she needed anything. Her sad eyes stayed in our hearts long after that meal. Pray for Kaylee, please.

Sometimes our asking is answered with, "No, I'm fine," and one waitress even once said, "Pray for those who need it." That was an interesting response, especially since our pastor was at the table with us! Those are the folks who need it the most. Never have we had a contentious response in the years we've been doing this.

Asking a waiter has become easier over the years, although I confess that sometimes I still feel strange doing it. Why should it take such courage to initiate a spiritual conversation? Am I afraid the waiter will spit in our food, or worse...think we're weird?? Maybe we should aspire to be "weird" by the world's standards. Allowing this to come naturally takes time, like I mentioned before. Gaining boldness in any area is "deliciously harrowing."

With a waiter, it's one thing; that person's job is to serve, and they are trying to make money...I chuckle thinking he/she is a captive audience. However, here's another scenario: I'm having a conversation with someone (the parent of my kid's friend, a tennis coach, a relative, a lifeguard at the pool, maybe even one of my kids' friends)...anyone who forms a part of my routine life. I get the "nudge" to speak about God...NOW??!! HOW??!! "Do I have to?!"

As I type this, I'm brokenhearted that these would be my reactions. Lord, move me from NOW?? to NOW!!!!! Help me in those moments to call on You for the "how." Let the question not be, "Do I have to?" but rather, "How can I not?" 

I will insert at this point that, speaking before of the devil, he likes to make me feel absolutely rotten when I miss an opportunity. He calls me a coward, tells me I must not love the Lord, asks me what kind of Christian I am, and blah, blah, blah. Condemnation does not come from the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:1), but what He does give us is the conviction that we missed an opportunity because we weren't relying on Him for help. Any dark thoughts about it are from the enemy; we can go to the Lord and say, "Lord, I knew I should've said something, but I froze. Forgive me for not calling on you for the words. Please give me another opportunity to tell someone about You, and make me bold for it." I prayed this several times when we started our "waitstaff ministry," when I knew I should ask but didn't. 

Today a little fella sat beside me and told me he was seven-years-old, and that he was going to Boston soon "on business." It seems the trip is so that his four-year-old brother can receive one of his mother's kidneys. I wanted badly to tell this chatty guy that Jesus cares about his brother, but all I said was that I would be praying for everything to go well. I felt silly thinking that I was scared to talk about my faith to a school-kid! Those are the ones who best understand the kingdom of God! I pray I will be ready for the next opportunity, and I'd love another chance to talk to this boy! God is weaving forgiveness and evangelism together to help me grow in the truth that mistakes on my part, if I confess and turn, don't put the "HOPELESS" or "DOOMED" stamp on me. Satan wants me to believe that I'm too despicable to even pray to God about it; after all, why would He want to hear me when I cowered over bringing up His name? 

When a lie like that comes up, the best thing to do is defy it, and pray!
Lord, thank You that all of life is repentance. As long as there's life, there's hope. I rebuke the enemy's attempts at condemnation, and praise You for loving me always. Your Son gave His life for my shortcomings, and as a sinner, I need You desperately every minute. Give me the courage to share this Good News with others. Forgive and change my unbelief, and continue to grow me in your truth. 

I have typed my prayers in green, which reminds me of new life, of fresh growth. Here is another one, straight from King David. May we not be afraid to pray this, and to ask God for courage as He answers:
"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

June

It's that time of year again, that time I used to commemorate with friends giggling half the night in sleeping bags. June is a happy time for me, with sun, short sleeves, my birthday, and the Stanley Cup...go, Pens! My favorite ways to celebrate my birthday now include simple things that I enjoy. Our culture might label me as boring, but I'm old enough to be okay with it. 

There's the annual espresso cake tradition, begun last year by my husband: 

This cake has come to be a symbol of June for me, as it lasts a long time, and I savor its aroma and flavor sometimes for breakfast, sometimes during the day, and lately I've even indulged myself in a slice at night over an episode of one of my old favorites, "My Three Sons." The cake has become a highlight of my birthday that lasts beyond that one day.

Another tradition is a visit from my mom, who we call "Gaby." This year, we decided to have a girls' afternoon (Gaby, my girls, Abue, and I) downtown. We ate Kilwin's ice cream in the rain, then hopped over to Mast General Store. Before we ventured out, Gaby, who shares my love of old books, had presented me with these: 

I had never heard of these Maida books, first published in 1910 (my editions are a bit newer!). Imagine my surprise when I opened one and saw this inscription: 

I don't have a Grandma and Grandpa Male, but the rest of it sure did fit! Gaby hadn't noticed it when she picked these up at the thrift store, so she had a surprise, too!

Speaking of thrift store shopping, this is a birthday tradition I enjoy on the actual day. Last year, my girls and I went together; what a treat that they're at the age that I can take them along on treasure-hunting adventures! This year, our pal Liz went along. There's no one more adept at bargains and thrift stores than Liz. She buys something at each place we visit! Here we are, about to embark on the journey: 

And here she is, with a fabulous find:

The girls were good sports. They were dragged around to look at stuff from other people's attics from 10am until 4pm, and survived! We hit a few places in town, including a huge antiques place that's going out of business. Look at this funny book I found for a dollar: 

In looking through this work from 1963, it occurred to me that my parents were the "Teen-Agers" mentioned in the title. Maybe I should let them read it! You may think, Does she actually read all these books she talks about, or is she just an old-book hoarder?! The answer is yes, and...um...well, I wouldn't exactly say, hoarder...! I find space where I can keep these works of literature neatly displayed and organized. Yes, I do read them, several at a time, in bits and pieces; I find time to read at the kitchen table over a sandwich, in bed at night, at my kids' tennis clinics, and outside in the sun after my housework is done. 

June is also a time for selling books at an annual homeschool book sale. This year was my second year (all of these traditions...cake, thrift stores, book sale, started last year!), and it's so much fun! My friend Eliza and I shared a table and attempted to get rid of some curriculum and books we no longer needed. Our motto was, "May we earn more than we spend," because sellers are able to shop at the sale before it opens to the public!

The crowd was thinner than last year, but I did make a little cash, found a few interesting finds, and had a great time seeing old and new friends. Aside from the pristine copy of d'Aulaire's Book of Greek Myths I got for a mere $2, this was my purchase of the day: 

"How much are your Hardy Boys?" I asked the couple. "Five dollars..." began the lady, "...for the box." To which I exclaimed, "The whole box?!" And she even threw in those two Charlie Browns, which one daughter has already read! My husband and girls have enjoyed reading several books from The Hardy Boys series together at night, and we've started a small collection. Miraculously, we only owned one of the volumes in this one: a much crisper copy of the one you see with no spine! Notice there's even an Authentic Detective Methods for Solving Mysteries. I'd never seen this, but I imagine it's rare. The girls and their dad can read Hardy Boys to their hearts' content!

There are two things unique to this June, different from last year:

Our fourth summer in this house, the hydrangeas finally burst into full bloom! I believe I wasn't cutting this bush down enough in the winter. I still didn't cut it completely, but did some, and this was the result! Our vases in the house are full of them. 

Also, I just had the privilege of finishing this study: 

The ladies in our community group have spent over ten weeks examining our hearts, tearing down strongholds, rebuking the enemy, sharpening each other, and growing in Christ. I highly recommend this powerful work by Beth Moore. Thank you, dear Amanda, for initiating this in our group, and to all the ladies who shared their hearts with me during this time.

Here's to June!

A Test

It's the time of our homeschool year that tests me the most: time for standardized testing. I've had it on my mind here and there since January, but have wrestled hard with it today. I write about it on here to clear my mind, but also to share my own struggles with the requirement. Others may not share my opinion. In fact, the more I open up about my frustration to others, the more I feel on an island. 

I barely remember testing as a kid, because those were the days when the teacher's year didn't have to be spent preparing students for tests. I don't recall being stressed out at all about the one test I think we took all year. It happened, we did our best, and that was that. 

In my state of North Carolina, the requirements for homeschoolers are to test children with a standardized test every school year once they turn seven. Most people think nothing of it. Neither did I, until I first had my child tested. She did fine...great, actually. I had felt fabulous about all we had accomplished, until the test administrator started pushing on me all the things we needed to do more of, how even though she scored well in certain areas, "you might want to try this...," or "Perhaps you might want to do even more of this..." and so on. Why wasn't her "good" good enough? 

The Charlotte Mason method of teaching is based on living books, rich ideas, lots of reading, and having students tell back (narrate) what they've learned. They are forming their own opinions about a wide feast of topics. Rather than learning dry facts and dates with no other connections, children spend the school year slowly digesting stories about historical figures and times, getting to know people in literature, or the ins and outs of nature, and working through their own ideas and takeaways. They also examine artwork and classical music, learning to identify the works of certain artists and composers. We spend daily time on cursive, and of course, do math every day.

I discovered my real frustration last year when I administered a traditional end-of-year standardized test: it was about as far from the Charlotte Mason method of teaching as it gets. Instead of asking my child to recall and describe what she remembers about Giotto's paintings, it's "Which of these words is spelled correctly?" and they look at ridiculous words that are misspelled. Rather than a robust, captivating paragraph from "King Arthur" to narrate, their understanding is assessed with a dry, uninteresting, textbook excerpt about apes, followed by questions so inane, I didn't even know the answers. 

Yes, I do realize that not everyone utilizes the Charlotte Mason method. However, there's no reason not to incorporate some life into these tests, or into education as a whole! All I could remember this morning was how much my girls, especially one who was slow to begin reading, dreaded testing last year. And I felt guilty; I had taught them one way, and assessed them in completely another. 

This brings me to why testing is indeed a "test," not just for my kids, but for me, especially for me. I feel backward and forward that homeschooling is what God wants me to do for my children, and I am convinced that the methods we employ are the best for us. There is an enemy lurking, who hates me, my kids, and all the good that we seek: "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." (Ephesians 6:12).

The devil wants nothing more than to crush every part of me and my kids. He has worked long and hard to set up strongholds that I, with the help of the Holy Spirit, and tearing down with even more vigor. One area that he especially attacks is my motherhood, and this includes my teaching. He had me disheartened last year over how ridiculous the testing seemed, how far from all we'd accomplished, as if my way of doing things is the wrong way. This has crept into my life again, and this morning I fell into a trap.

It took me a long time to find a math program that was best for us. I tried one, and the repetition and slowness drove me bonkers. Then I tried another, and the dryness and lack of new concepts drove me even more nuts. I finally found Horizons, and we love it. However, because it took a while, my girls are about half a grade behind in it. This hasn't bothered me in the least; I feel that they know what I did at their ages, and it was good enough. But see, in today's culture, how anyone did anything in the good old days just isn't good enough anymore. When I thought about the fact that there would be sections of math that one of my kids might not know on the test, I started panicking.

Shame on us for our one-size-fits-all, no-room-for-a-kid's-own-pace mindset! I feel very alone in this. I'm not the least bit worried now, while my kid is eight, about her getting into college. I do Charlotte Mason's methods and the girls thrive...then I have to administer a test that teachers all across America have spent all year preparing for. One huge reason for homeschooling is to be able to do things in our own time, as we see fit. If that means being a little behind in math, we will catch up. However, the devil didn't want me seeing this earlier today. He wanted me panicking, believing that I was a terrible teacher, that my girls are so far behind, one might not even be in the right grade! 

I fell into the trap of panic over nothing. My kids read like others their age (granted, they weren't reading chapter books in first grade, but they are now!), know the names of most flowers, plants, and birds in our yard, spell fairly well (surely on grade level), don't throw their math books across the room, know more countries on a globe than probably most adults, can recount tales of Kipling and poetry of Stevenson, can read and write cursive...no, I don't think being a few steps behind in math isn't anything we can't catch up on, especially working over the summer. The issue is that we work so hard, I've seen my kids come so far, and their learning is reduced to percentages and bubbles. 

One thing I guard against is letting my kids know my true frustration. I do feel the need to tell them, "This is a part of our requirements, something we simply have to do every year. Don't worry if you don't know some answers." However, being taught the way they are, they can't help but experience frustration themselves. Some moms have told me, "You take this way too seriously. Just get the results, and don't even open them." Others tell me, "You may not like it, but it's the way things are." I agree there is some validity to both, but where's the indignation from parents, of homeschooled and traditionally-schooled kids alike? Do you really think these are decent assessments? It's become the "norm" only because we go along with it, and think that people with letters behind their names know what's best for kids. Remember...money usually plays a part in anything.

That was a squirrel in the form of two cents...back to the trap I fell in. Suddenly, I had a revelation: Go back and see how your kids actually performed on math last year! Gee...why didn't I think of that before my morning of torment? I pulled myself out of the snare and found the scores.

Last year's 3rd grader:
Computation: 97% (percentile)
Concepts and Problems: 87%
Not too shabby....

Last year's 2nd grader, the one who I've worried about due to our being "behind" in math, because of how loudly she protested last year about how "hard!!!!" the test was:
Computation: 72%
Concepts & Problems: 81%
How about that? 

I share this because I want others to know how many homeschoolers feel: we hate the comparison game. I believe comparison is a tactic of darkness that creates many lies we carry into adulthood. That's why I dislike so much of what education has become, but doesn't need to be. I detest labeling a first grader who is slow to start reading and getting a specialist and psychologist involved. I had people tell me, "Have her tested," and "You need to make sure there's no disability." I'm sure there are students who legitimately need this, but I believe it's way fewer than we think. I knew the whole time that she just wasn't ready, and would do it when she was, but the implication of neglectfulness was made  because "you want to get to the bottom of serious learning issues." Half a year later, she's reading like a champ, as I knew she would sooner or later. The problem is, standardized tests just won't wait, and can't allow kids to take the time they need. Tests are based on how a child did in comparison to others...and who gets to decide what's the "norm"? If Sally can read a paragraph in three minutes but it takes Jennie twice as long, why does Sally get to be "smarter"? If Jake can do twenty times tables in forty seconds, but it takes Sam five minutes, does he not also know them? I think this is dangerous territory, and this is why this time of year gives me the shakes.

The bigger issue is what the enemy had me thinking, the things that were going through my head: "I haven't taught them well" (a lie), "They're not on grade level" (a lie), "I need to rethink a lot of things we do" (a lie). "The devil...does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it." (John 8:44). Whenever I find myself drowning in these traps, I ask the Holy Spirit to bring me back to what's real and true, and to grow me through the experience. I do accept that we have to do testing, but I don't have to like it. I am grateful that North Carolina homeschoolers otherwise have much freedom. Yes, we do need some form of assessment, but I'd much rather create a portfolio, which is acceptable in many other states. 

Let the kids be kids! When did pre-algebra become the norm in third grade? Let them climb trees and make stick forts, let them enjoy poetry for it's own sake, and sing songs. Let little people go to kindergarten barely knowing their letters, and watch them learn to read by fourth grade anyway. Let them learn self-respect through good character and rich ideas, rather than self-esteem by how many facts they can regurgitate. As Charlotte Mason stated, The question is not how much a child knows, but how much does he care? We have replaced caring as well as knowing with...testing. Regardless of how my children perform, these tests as they are will always make me recoil.

I'll end with a heavy tribute to Mason from various selections of Susan Schaeffer Macaulay's For The Children's Sake: "A high standard was expected...It was not to be a race...'Good little Sally made only one mistake, she gets an A!' But poor struggling Johnny tried his best and is rewarded with a D. How can Johnny ever take a proper joy in the fact that he learned a new step?...How immoral to apply an arbitrary yardstick to the little child and expect him to progress at some 'normal' speed! We take from him the joy of accomplishing new skills which should be a part of growing up. We often combine frustrating skill-learning techniques with sawdust books...We are limited to three educational instruments--the atmosphere of the environment, the discipline of habit, and the presentation of living ideas. If education is to secure the step-by-step progress of the individual and the nation, it must mean something over and above the daily plodding at small tasks which goes by the name...If you think that the sick fear of not getting an A grade is a lofty means of motivating the child to excellence, I beg to differ...Let us help the child gain skills really well for his own sake, not because of what somebody else can or cannot do." 

Let them delight in the beauty of the first clematis of spring; 

that speaks volumes over the hundredth percentile.

Until next time...perhaps a lighter topic!

In memory of Victor J. Bablove

(1949-2017)

Books, Games, & Such

My daughter was sick yesterday, so we read this book together:

Do you remember Jerrold Beim books from the library? When I was a kid, there was a large collection. Sadly, they're not among the collection anymore. I used to check this book out (the cover was different: green library binding) over and over, and read it repeatedly. It takes the reader through the Green Family photo album, with young Chris Green as the main character. We learn "who's who in your family" by examining Chris's family photos with him, and learn about first cousins once-removed, great-aunts and uncles, half-siblings, in addition to more familiar relations such as cousins, grandparents, etc. 

The artwork of Mary Stevens is astounding; drawings like hers don't exist in modern children's books. I remembered this wonderful work and ordered this copy years ago, before I had children. It is my delight to share it with them, and to even read it myself. Who's Who in Your Family ranks as one of my favorite all-time books. I love the photo of Chris's dad as a boy, carving his initials on a tree, and under "J.G." he noted the date: 1921! Simply fabulous.

A favorite pastime of our family is playing Clue. I used to own this game, and have no idea where it went. My kids were given the modern version for Christmas. Even better than playing Clue together is when Nibbles is along, reclining in a baby doll seat:

Speaking of games, who doesn't love Candy Land? Last week, the girls were looking for something different to play. I told them that our old games were down in the basement, and after a trip down there, they reappeared with this, which was mine as a kid:

Do you see where my grandmother not only wrote my name (the initial "R" stands for Robin, my middle name), but the date: "Julio 17, 1981" (Julio because she's from Cuba, of course). There's nothing special about that date except that it happened to be the day that she wrote on the board. I would've been five years old. 

Look at the board!

Is this pristine, or what? What I notice most about it is that it contains just enough without being overly busy like today's game boards. Why do they keep changing them? Can't you just feel the joy radiating from this board? A friend shared with me that the current version of another favorite, Chutes and Ladders, is so overloaded that he, the adult, can't even figure it out! As for the four-year-old, forget it! What a shame. Simple is better. 

Here are some pieces. You will notice the sweets have changed:

One might see all of this and think that I must not have played with this game much, seeing as how it has remained in such good condition. Not true! Toys of all kinds were much better made back in the day. The quality was solid and people got their money's worth, unlike many of the cheap, poorly-made playthings of today. Items were made to last; today they break, and folks just go buy a new one. I took care of my things, and my kids see it and appreciate this lesson, too. I think that the reason they love this game in spite of their ages is because of its nostalgic charm. By the way, now we know when someone is about to pick the lollipop. It has some old stain on the back...I wonder what it was? Don't you just love little marks and stains on old things? Maybe it's just me.

Here is a beautiful prayer from The Optimist's Good Morning by Florence Hobart Perin (1929): 

It's important to ask the Lord constantly for our minds to be this "nesting-place for pleasant and restful thoughts," ideas that please Him and enable us to walk in the freedom in which Christ has set us free. I'm learning to bring darkness into light, to replace lies with truth, to allow the Holy Spirit to tear down strongholds and rebuild my heart with His wisdom and truth. We have to learn to trust that God is good. It is a long, slow, rich, painful, good process.

A charming, simple book for nature study is Plant Life in Field and Garden by Arabella B. Buckley. This reading started off our week: 

I asked my daughters, "Are those the same little yellow flowers we saw just yesterday down by the lake?" They were certain that they were. I loved that we happened to be reading this selection in March, like the book states, and have these very same Marsh Marigolds growing near our house:

That's the beauty of nature study; it need not be elaborate, and you don't have to make fancy field trips to enjoy what God has placed in your own yard. My girls and I now have a bond with the Marsh Marigold, and we will always remember these dainty buds with the bees buzzing around them, just like we read about in the book. 

Those wildflowers or weeds make a fine science lesson! Here are others that my girls have found; one is the Marsh Marigold up close: 

And these look just like another flower that Buckley mentions further in the reading: 

She talks about a flower called yellow Coltsfoot, which we looked up on the Internet. The resemblance was close, yet not quite the same. It offered a fabulous opportunity for my girls to compare the two flowers, finding similarities and differences in both. We are learning to examine God's creation closely, and marvel at His perfect design. 

I came across another enchanting passage in Blaisdell's How to Keep Well that I can't resist sharing: 

My daughter couldn't believe this...I couldn't believe it! Isn't our world fascinating? Have you ever heard of such a thing? I'm convinced that living books enable learning much more adequately than dry lectures or textbooks. We're certain to remember these details!

Here is the poem the girls copied yesterday:

I love cursive, poetry, and a chalkboard! My girls are used to having to copy something from the board in cursive daily. I like the reinforcement it gives to poetry, handwriting practice, spelling, and punctuation. When I started homeschooling and purchased this chalkboard, I was so excited about it. A Debbie Downer saw it and remarked about how messy it would be, with dust getting everywhere. We can't allow naysayers to crush our joy...and they will always be around. I'm sure I realize that chalk causes dust; so do dry erase markers, which run out faster and are more costly than chalk. We delight in our board, and are making memories. A small dry erase board is also used in our school when we're reading; I write hard-to-remember names on it to aid in narration. 

Look at this recipe from 1953 that I decided to try: 

Oh, how I admire the homemakers of my grandparents' generation! We moms of today don't always realize the joy of time-consuming food art like this. The importance of time spent in the kitchen producing such a result hasn't been impressed upon us. I believe in setting aside a weekday afternoon or even a whole Saturday for projects like this. We can't rush such a recipe, and need time to figure out where changes might need to be made. Here is how my version turned out: 

I laughed my head off when I saw that both layers of my cake put together were still not as high as one layer of the cake in the original picture! When I set them on cooling racks, the layers resembled two pancakes! I had put in such time and effort, though, that I went ahead with it. I thought, by golly, we're eating this thing if it's the last thing we eat! I simply texted Liz and asked her to bring over some ice cream to go with it.

I learned two main things for next time (and I will make it again!): they have to do with the frosting and the shortening. I'm glad I went ahead and made the icing first, to get it over with and cooled. I recommend making it on the stove as stated, yet it will be very oily, as if the butter won't separate from the rest. I solved this by putting it all into the mixing bowl and letting the electric mixer whip it for about five minutes. 

Since I haven't used shortening in many years, I decided to substitute butter. Liz, who bakes a lot and has experience with many ingredients, says that this substitution is what caused the cake not to rise well. She uses shortening whenever the recipe calls for it, and from now on, I will, too. As for the taste of the cake, it was delicious. After all I'd been through, I decided not to attempt covering the sides with almonds, but settled for a simple smattering over the top. The leftovers were fabulous for breakfast!

I'm learning not to be afraid of what's weird to most people. It's worth our time to read old books, teach cursive, write on a chalkboard, play old games, enjoy poetry without ruining it by picking every line apart, pick weeds and put them in the window, and spend a whole morning on a recipe that might not turn out. The joy is not only in the finished product, but there's great satisfaction in the journey. All of these little things add up to life. 

Speaking of cakes, my Aunt Susan celebrated her 65th birthday yesterday! I leave you with this fantastic image of my dad and his little sis, long ago:

The passage of time is like lightning. We must spend it wisely, on the things of God and what glorifies Him. 

Until next time!

Here & There

As you know, I find little bits here and there that I like to post. Here are some from the past two weeks:

We try to do nature study at least once a week. It's easier than it sounds: we venture out into the yard and find something from God's creation to draw. Sometimes we choose the same item; other times, our drawings are different. When there was stress about making this a masterpiece, a friend gave me good advice: in nature study, we're scientists, not artists. We try to capture the intricate details of that living thing, like the dots on a petal, or the tear in a leaf. Whether you're eight or eighty, create your own nature notebook! This is our second year working in the same book.

How about a day at the spa...for your Barbies?

We found some old baby bath wash and the girls delighted in treating those tired, worn-out gals to a time of pampering! No Barbie tub needed; just a container and some imagination. Old baby washcloths make great doll towels, too: 

Here is a book that I just finished and highly recommend. Cindy Rollins's story is captivating, not just for moms or homeschoolers, but for any adult interested in education or family life: 

You can hear Cindy on the Circe Institute podcast, The Mason Jar. She and her guests impart much wisdom about teaching our children, as they share specific resources and personal stories about their own experiences. As a mother of nine, Cindy's point of view is valuable to all parents and educators. 

Speaking of a pearl of wisdom, here is one:

This quote was aptly timed in The Optimist's Good Morning, a devotional I enjoy every day, right after a group of friends and I discussed this very issue. We had a rich discussion around our dinner table Tuesday night about what a tragedy it is that children are being shoved these days into a one-size-fits-all model of learning. Well-meaning parents push their teenagers into four-year college without regards to the fact that that individual might rather study plumbing, cosmetology, or work to save money while seeking God's path for his or her life. Thousands of dollars in debt pile up, often binding the student to a career that he realized (only too late) isn't his heart's desire. The work of a mail carrier is no less noble than that of a physician; the world would be a mess if we all walked the same road.  

On a lighter note, how about some kitchen-floor hockey?

A yard stick, some tape and cardboard...throw in that oversized checker from the Cracker Barrel game, and presto! Instant fun, and lots of goals!

Here is a funny page from How to Keep Well by Albert F. Blaisdell, M.D., published in 1895. This is the kind of living book from which our children should be learning about the human body and it's wondrous design. Our kids learn so much about language and expression from reading such poetic prose. The lines before the ones in the following picture read, "Get at the market a knuckle of ham or mutton. Open the joint by cutting into it, and study what you see. Our own joints are made exactly after the same general..." (now keep reading):

This is much more fascinating than a dry textbook. Why not use a living book like this to teach children about the wonders of the human body? I encourage adults to read rich literature for your own growth, then pass it along to your kids. Have them tell back (without your interfering) what they remember in their own words. Students crave depth, not the sterile, insipid material they're presented these days. Try this method in lieu of the lifeless "comprehension" paragraph with silly questions that hardly any sane person can "comprehend."

Here is another example of delightful reading, from Gyo Fujikawa's A Child's Book of Poems:

Stop being afraid of poetry! All you have to do is read it and enjoy it! We associate poetry with the dreaded assignment of being forced to write it when not all of us are poets. Again, there's no need to force anything. Learning can indeed be fun. This poem was followed by gleeful requests to "Read it again!"

As I've mentioned, our community group meets every Tuesday. Each week, our meal looks something like this:

We eat to our fullest, and love each other with messy, real brotherly love. There's nothing like fellowship around the table with my people, breaking bread and growing together. And what's in that pot in the left corner of the photo?

Boiled peanuts! You've not experienced the true south until you've tried Jeremy's all-day-long, salty, boiled peanuts. 

Finally, here's a quote that stuck with me. If only we truly grasped how God sees our sin once we repent with brokenhearted contrition...He doesn't. His Son's blood secured that for us, and may we find peace in this truth:

Until next time!

Hello from Nibbles!