The funny thing is, it can take me a while to rest, even on rest days! I find myself finding it hard to settle down all morning, and not really "resting" until two or three in the afternoon! In his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzerro addresses this in detail. He speaks to the fact that although it's counterculture these days to stop and rest (he even calls it "doing nothing"), God's design for us never changes. We're left tired because we go, go, go.
Isn't this little spread lovely? Several weary women flopped down at this outdoor table one Thursday evening some weeks ago. We chatted, laughed, shared stories, threw in some talk about Charlotte Mason's methods, and enjoyed each others' company. What refreshment!
Back to the busyness. The past few months have consisted of us deciding to downsize, getting rid of stuff (where did all of that come from??), launching into a whirlwind adventure of a fast house sale and buying one half its size, having a charming three-week respite at Ravenswood (see past post), then moving to our sweet tucked-away, over-fifty-year-old "new" house.
Somehow we started back with school, then the month of May brought three tennis tournaments, two of which are big, special, out-of-town ones. As much as our family enjoys the sport and our daughters love to play, we are intentional about participating just once or twice a month. However, May is always the busy tennis month, and this year proved challenging because of our tiredness from the move. This is what prompted me to reevaluate the Sabbath, making sure that we are intentional about keeping days of rest. Per Scazzero's encouragement, I also like to take mini-moments of rest throughout the day. I've been known to drop my cares outside:
Poetry is something I'm also learning to love. Homeschooling has done that for me; my own experience in school caused me to dread poetry, as I was forced to write it while uninspired, or pick it apart for something my teacher was looking for. How refreshing it is to experience it for poetry's sake, to use it for cursive practice, and for our enjoyment of something beautiful:
May also brought several end-of-year activities, which meant planning and preparing. I felt sometimes like I was drowning in a fog, thinking about school, laundry, menu planning, cleaning, and when to practice for all those tournaments. These things that I love on a regular basis started to suffocate me. The devil loves to do this to us, take things in which we normally delight, and cause them to create havoc in our lives. I daily had to step back and breathe. Normally, we don't live activity to activity, in a state of chaos. No wonder people these days are frazzled, with no time. I had to purposely get lost in the roses:
I said yes to my mom's invitations to the lake, even when there was housework and other stuff to do.
Who wouldn't be invigorated after an afternoon at this place? There's no question that the hot South Carolina sun, the wind whipping my face and hair on a boat ride, and Jim's hot dogs followed by the ever-expected ice cream sandwich, all contribute to putting my brain back in order.
One of our tournaments was in Greensboro. We found a cottage from 1900 in Winston-Salem, and stayed there for the weekend. The neighborhood is being revitalized, and houses over a century old are coming back to life:
On the Saturday morning of our stay, I relished some moments on the front porch, praying and reading Scripture, enjoying the view of an old street, gazing at the big, red house across on the corner, and examining a blue jay who became my momentary companion.
During this time of unusual busyness, my dad developed an infection that landed him unexpectedly in surgery and in a long recovery, where he still is. Another thing continuously looming about in my mind is church. As our move put us over 40 minutes from our church home, we've been searching closer to where we live. I've long desired for church and community to be in the same place, and the search for a church home is neither easy nor a quick process. We've been surprised by the idea of home church, and are exploring this with great care and lots of prayer.
Alongside all the activity and mind exercise, I've suffered physical anxiety and been very near to panic. People respond to stress in different ways. My stomach takes a beating, and in extreme times, I launch into a fog, losing focus, feeling short of breath and almost like an elephant is standing on my chest. There has been lots of prayer, and lots of stopping to regain focus.
Thankfully during this time, my daughter made homemade monkey bread!
When we were putting our house on the market, I had a few moments of tears as I sat in my cherished "red room." This room is where I started my days, at my grandmother's old secretary desk, after prayer in a yellow chair I bought some years ago at an antique store. I couldn't bear the thought of giving up my red room, and prayed for a new spot, one that I'd enjoy just as much.
This photo of my grandmother's living room was taken sometime in the 1970's:
I remember when this furniture was reupholstered. It was around 1984, because I was about eight years old. I went into the house, and the room was empty. When I inquired about the furniture's whereabouts, my joking Papi said that some man had come by and said it was his, and had taken it. I knew better.
This furniture was acquired by my great uncle, Narcy Quintero, in New Jersey. Evidently, a friendly neighbor old lady left it to him, and she had gotten it from England. He offered it to my grandmother, who had to pay a whopping $25 to have it shipped to South Carolina. And the rest is history.
That furniture (still covered in the upholstery from '84) now sits in my new special place, the room that is the answer to my prayers:
It's among these things that I'll be taking some good, long rests for the rest of this week. The final trip for a while was a four-day stint in Cary, the home of an incredible tennis facility where my daughter played in a southern level junior tournament. She kept winning, so we kept staying! I love the buzz of excitement at these events, the friendships made between girls and their parents, and the fellowship of seeing these friends, especially those we've gotten to know from all over our state of North Carolina. The competition was fantastic, and the time spent with my girls was wonderful. The highlight of the trip was watching my daughter play on a stadium court, with its own chair umpire calling the score!
But now we're home, and are purposefully taking the next few days off from much of anything. I think I'll need several days to "come down" from it all!
Until next time...
