Reading in 2016

This has been a year of reading. When I attended my first Charlotte Mason retreat in November 2015, I was challenged to spend more time feeding my mind with books. The Charlotte Mason method of teaching revolves around living books, a widely spread feast of topics and ideas, slowly chewing on small bits and reflecting through narration. I recall seeing lists of books some CM moms had read themselves or with their children and wondering, How do they find time to do all that reading? I remember thinking how wonderful it would be to accomplish so many works in one year, not just flying through them, but savoring them and knowing them intimately. 

I decided in 2016 to improve my professional development (or "mother culture," as Charlotte called it). They are one and the same: increasing my knowledge on a variety of subjects for my job as a homeschooler, while at the same time feeding my mind personally. We often want our kids to have the best, yet we sit neglect our own growth. If my goal is to provide my girls with a wide feast of ideas, I must nourish my own mind with the best "food," too.  

The most important Book is God's Word. I cannot go a day without drawing from the riches of His truth. Last December 30, I began going through the plan in the back for reading through my Bible in one year:

Although the technical start date was January 1, I began two days ahead to give myself a buffer. I also knew that mentally I would feel better if I went through the year knowing I was two days ahead, just in case I got behind. I flipped the assigned reading and did Old Testament in the morning, since those were always longer passages. When we went on trips, I took my Bible along, and continued to follow the reading plan. Today was bittersweet as I completed Revelation: "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen."

This was a journey and experience I'm grateful to have accomplished, but it was not always easy. Reading four chapters of Ezekiel at a time is heady, especially with a lot going on in the morning. God's Word never returns void. Another challenge was finding time to linger over verses I wanted to read in addition to having to do the readings for that particular day. A busy mom can allow herself the grace to listen to Scripture on the Bible app every now and then!

Here is a list of books I read on my own (meaning, not with my children) in the year 2016:

Leaking Laffs Between Pampers and Depends by Barbara Johnson

The Johnstown Flood by David McCullough

Just As Long As We’re Together by Judy Blume

Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo

Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe

Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee

7 Women by Eric Metaxas 

Cuentitos Simpaticos by Rubin Pfeiffer 

The Secret Thoughts of An Unlikely Convert by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield

Serafina and the Black Cloak by Robert Beatty 

Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 by W. Phillip Keller 

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte 

Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller

The Horse and Buggy Doctor by Arthur E. Hertzler 

Scarlett by Alexandra Ripley

It’s Not the End of the World by Judy Blume

The Holy Bible, NKJV

The Barbara Johnson book had begun the year before, and I had read it a page or two at a time. I love her humor and have read many of her books. Both Judy Blume books were ones I had owned as a pre-teen, and just wanted to enjoy again, this time as an adult. I had forgotten how much I was able to relate to Karen Newman in It's Not the End of the World. The DiCamillo book was a preview for my children's benefit, to check the appropriateness. I did enjoy it and believe they will, too.

One book I did not greatly enjoy was Go Set a Watchman. It was a letdown after re-reading To Kill a Mockingbird, and I was disappointed with Scout's outbursts. The biggest letdown on the list was Serafina and the Black Cloak. I can't believe parents are allowing their young (like seven years old!) kids to read this; I'm forty and had trouble digesting some parts. My theory is that they hear "It's about the Biltmore House!" and think it must be okay. I found it dark and horrifying and advise parents to read it first. That's the beauty of reading: we don't have to like everything we read, or even finish a book that's not going well. In fact, I began several books this year that had stories I enjoyed immensely, but that came along with vulgar words or descriptions that made the books not worth continuing. 

Currently I'm reading:

The Cloud of Witness (ongoing)

God is in the Manger and The Cost of Discipleship, both by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Little Rosebud by Beatrice Harraden

Allison's Girl by Theodore Acland Harper

Selections from Charlotte Mason's volumes

A Turtle on a Fencepost by Allan Emery

A Year With C.S. Lewis

The Bible

Here are the books I have read out loud with my children this year, just for fun:

The Clue in the Old Album by Carolyn Keene

The Secret in the Diary by Carolyn Keene

The Clue in the Crumbling Wall by Carolyn Keene

The Sign of the Twisted Candles by Carolyn Keene

Snowbound With Betsy by Carolyn Haywood

Pilgrim Stories by Margaret Pumphrey 

Shiloh by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Squanto, Friend of the Pilgrims by Clyde Robert Bulla 

Pilgrim’s Progress, A Beka version, by John Bunyan

Nancy’s Mysterious Letter by Carolyn Keene

Where Was Patrick Henry on the 29th of May? by Jean Fritz 

Dewey the Library Cat by Bret Witter and Vicki Myron 

The Terrible Wave by Marden Dahlstedt 

Beautiful Girlhood Revised by Karen Andreola 

Cherry Ames, Department Store Nurse by Helen Wells

The Mystery Off Old Telegraph Road by Kathryn Kenny

Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls 

The Burgess Bird Book for Children by Thornton Burgess

A Taste of Blackberries by Doris Buchanan Smith

Mrs. Piggle Wiggle by Betty MacDonald

The Real McCoys and Danger at the Ranch by Cole Fannin

Trina by Patricia Miles Martin

This Cat Came to Stay! by Elizabeth Kinsley

Class Clown by Johanna Hurwitz

The House on the Cliff by Frank Dixon

Back to School With Betsy by Carolyn Haywood 

Pee Wee and Plush by Johanna Hurwitz 

Fourth Grade Fuss by Johanna Hurwitz 

Here’s Beaver! by Beverly Cleary

The Two Towers by Frank Dixon

The Haunted Bridge by Carolyn Keene

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson

Mystery in the Pirate Oak by Helen Fuller Orton

Notice the Nancy Drews! Ah, Trixie Belden...the Hardy Boys...Cherry Ames...how we love you all! Some of these came from the library, but most belong to us. They are worn, most are old, and they have that lovely, well-read book smell. It's impossible to pick a favorite, but as I read over this list, I have beautiful memories of time spent with my girls through the pages of each one. We are currently reading Grandfather Greenfingers by P. Catherine Coles at night before bed; every other night they have been going through Harry Potter with Daddy. 

And here are the books we are reading in school, which we will continue into 2017:

Favorite Tales From Shakespeare by Charles and Mary Lamb

James Herriot's Treasury for Children

Trial and Triumph by Richard M. Hannula

The Blue Fairy Book by Andrew Lang

Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling

Outdoor Secrets by Margaret Boyle

Our Island Story by H.E. Marshall

Parables From Nature by Margaret Gatty 

Paddle to the Sea by Holling Clancy Holling

Fifty Famous Stories Retold by James Baldwin

Now We Are Six by A.A. Milne

The Aesop for Children

And two readers: Here it Is and Move Ahead by Brown, Truher, and Weise. These are gems from the 1970's that provide challenging stories, both for reading practice as well as getting students to think about various moral and ethical topics. 

Before I go...

Here's one more book for me, personally:

Go ahead and laugh...I sure did when I pulled this off the 25 cents shelf at the public library yesterday. I couldn't resist throwing in my coins and bringing it home. And guess what? I read twelve pages today, just winding down at lunch time! I know I'm cheesy and like nerdy topics, but this truly is a fascinating book. It's not a glossary of Yiddish terms; the purpose of this book is to educate us on the influence of Yiddish on our own English language use. I bet I'm the only person I know who is reading (or has read) it, but I'm sure it's on Amazon. Why not grab a copy and let's have a discussion!

I love a feast of ideas.

Until next time....READ!!!!

Happy New Year! 

Advent Season

The season of waiting before Christmas, Advent, is meant to be savored in anticipation of the coming of Christ. I began last year to be more intentional about not getting caught in the trappings our culture has come to think are what Christmas is all about. While none of our favorite seasonal activities are wrong, it's too easy for me to become overwhelmed if I'm not careful. Nothing should be allowed to creep in and steal our focus on Christ's entrance into the world. The late Barbara Johnson, one of my favorites, wrote, "Set priorities, and practice saying no. Don't be afraid to change traditions if you can't cope with doing things the old way." I have to remain constantly vigilant.

I found this verse tucked in the folds of the seldom-read book of Amos, the Old Testament prophet. It popped off the page. Life comes when we seek the Lord! Jesus said this, too: "I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." (John 10:10)

There is freedom in focusing on Christ...after all, He is the reason we celebrate Christmas! He enables us to find joy in those special things we associate with this season so that they don't become trappings. Eyes set on the Giver of Life  are able to enjoy the season and not become enslaved to it. Bondage to Christmas is the antithesis of the holiday; it's falling into the enemy's trap and contrary to the whole reason Christ came. I cringe when I hear people talk about Christmas as something weary, complaining of all they have to do, and what little time they have. Seek the Lord, and live.

Here I am at one of my favorite places, with one of my favorite people:

My friend Liz and I were at church about two weeks ago, and I had to have a photo of her gorgeous dress. She makes all her own dresses, and they are works of art! Liz is well-known at Missio Dei church (and, I guess in our area) for her exquisite wardrobe. She uses her God-given talent to glorify Him and spread the joy of Christmas in a unique way.

The girls and I couldn't ignore this in school:

I was taken aback when I realized that the attack on Pearl Harbor happened seventy-five years ago this year. I remember when I was in high school, it had been "fifty years ago," which seemed like a long time. The "Greatest Generation" is rapidly being taken from us by time, which has to march on. We are blessed to have had them as our grandparents, and to have heard their stories. Soon our World War II veterans will be but a cherished memory. This sentence was our copywork for the day, which the girls carefully put into their notebooks. 

Something we look forward to all year is baking gingerbread. This is not an activity to be hurried or crammed in between other events. There's the dough preparation, cutting out various shapes, baking the cookies, then finally the girls' favorite part: the decorating! I reserve several hours, and often an entire morning or afternoon for gingerbread. The fun and memories (as well as the finished product!) are well worth the time.

The girls had a blast and put hard work and time into these cookies. They are the folks at the racquet club where the girls practice tennis, and we took them right over as soon as they were ready. Notice the animals; these are the club dogs, Daisy and Dinho!

And you might guess who these are...the girls made cookies of themselves this year!

Our pastor recommended this book for Advent this year, and I'm enjoying spending time in it daily:

In addition to my usual reading of The Cloud of Witness (which begins daily readings during Advent and goes throughout the year), Bonhoeffer's selections provide profound growth during Advent. Each daily devotion takes only a few minutes to read, rich in ideas on which to meditate during the day. I like to read this in the morning and The Cloud at night. 

Here is a note from today's reading in God is in the Manger:

"...look up and lift up your heads, because your redemption draws near." Luke 21:28

I have written before about our church group that comes over every Tuesday. Our church serves several counties in western North Carolina, so we have people who go from near and far. During the week, groups meet in homes all over the area so that we can get to know those from the church who live close to us. Our group consists of thirteen adults and seven kids; the adults vary in age from twenty-five to forty-five, with some married, some engaged, some single, and some separated and standing for their marriages. We share a meal every week, then spend rich time in the Word and prayer. 

We have come to love each individual in the group as we share our lives together. Life is messy, and our group is a safe place. People can share deeply or not. I have noticed that it never takes long for a newcomer to feel like a part of our group. We are brothers and sisters in Christ who sharpen each other and spur one another on, growing more confidence to know each other and be fully known. 

This week, we decided to all provide appetizers and desserts, then we did a "white elephant" gift exchange with old stuff from our own homes that we didn't want anymore. One thing about our group: not only do we laugh and cry together...we EAT together! I wanted to make something special, but there was that time factor I mentioned earlier. 

I decided to try an easy Pinterest bark recipe. The girls and I used one bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips, a bag of Andes mint chips (a seasonal item; can also crush regular Andes mints), and some crushed Kit-Kats. All we did was put foil on a shallow baking pan, dump and combine the chips and mints, and put them in the oven for two minutes at 325. Once they were slightly melted, we took them out and the girls swirled it with toothpicks while I drizzled the Kit-Kat pieces over the top. This process took a total of maybe five minutes. We placed the creation in the refrigerator for a half hour to harden, then I took it out and broke the sheet into pieces. Instant Christmas bark!

This will be a must for future Christmases because of its ease, and the little time it takes. The possibilities are endless: omit the mint chips and just do chocolate with drizzled bits of coconut and almond for the Almond Joy fans in your life, or use white chocolate instead and drizzle it with crushed candy canes. Broken Reese's peanut butter cups would make a yummy topping for a plain chocolate version, too.

Liz and Burney were first to arrive, and he was donning his own unparalleled creation:

This wins the Christmas sweater contest! Burney is a coffee roaster and spoils us with freshly roasted and brewed coffee every week. This time, as he went around the kitchen and dining room serving it, he jingled everywhere he went!

What a feast we had!!!!!! I love the foretaste of heaven, fellowshipping over the table with my brothers and sisters. 

There was apple-cream cheese spread, regular cheese spread, ham croissants, a  beautiful meat tray, pizza bites, biscuits and a veggie plate that arrived later, corn, ambrosia, Oreos and Nilla wafers, chocolate chip melt-aways, mini chocolate chip cookies and ice cream, candy canes, and the bark. Our group knows how to have a meal!

Until next time....focus on the real reason for Christmas, our Creator and Sustainer, the Giver of Life. Although He should not be overshadowed by anything, don't be afraid to receive the joy that this season brings in the form of fun things. It is our receiving with gladness and not guilt or tiredness that we prepare to receive Him, our greatest Gift.

MERRY CHRISTMAS 

Apologies After Years

"Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4:16).

Are you thankful to not be who you once were? Boy, I am. I am not who I once was, nor am I yet who I will be a year or five from now. Part of my really coming to believe this has to do with what the Spirit laid on me some years back: the importance of asking for forgiveness.

As I thought back, times would come to mind of which I was not proud. It's a fact that we all have behaved badly and have regrets, but certain situations and people kept nagging at my mind. How terribly I had acted toward them; how I wished I hadn't done specific things!

"What, Lord? You want me to do...what?"

Yes, He wanted me to reach out and apologize...for things that had happened years and years ago. 

"Please, no! Lord, how am I supposed to confront people over things that happened so long ago? They'll think I'm nuts!"

Yet it wouldn't go away. You can guess what came next.

Before I go further, let me clarify a few things. First, although the incidents that were coming to mind were nothing earth-shattering by the world's standards, I was learning that by God's standards, I had sinned against a fellow image-bearer, regardless of how "small" it might seem. Also, the process of "making amends," as my Dad calls it, has shown me the truth that my sin is foremost against God: "Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight," David laments in Psalm 51:4. We must first go to the Lord and acknowledge how our sins hurt Him, repent, and praise Him for His forgiveness. The blood of His slaughtered Son covers all wrongdoing. 

So, why bother going to the one who was offended, if God forgives? Believe me, I kicked this up and down in my head awhile, aiming to avoid the discomfort of confronting my bad behavior in front of others. There is no way around it; being a Christ follower requires painful sanctification, and also obedience. If the Spirit kept bringing this up, I had no choice but to obey. I would discover the reason, which turns out to be the reason for everything we're supposed to do: it's all for the glory of Almighty God. 

Over the past four years or so, I have made amends in various ways: surprising someone via email with an apology about something I did or said, sending back an item that wasn't mine to its rightful owner, and even making outright phone calls to ask for forgiveness. As I contemplated writing this post, more apologies came to mind than I had remembered. The thing is, the first time I obeyed and did it, I thought, "Whew! Well, that's over; I survived!" Then guess what happened? It wasn't long after that another person came to mind...then another...and yet another. Dang it....oh, yeah...that narrow road thing again.

I don't write this to puff myself up. Trust me...nothing deflates a person like having to call someone on the phone and say, "Remember when we were in college and you were so nice to me and I was rude to you? By the grace of God, I'm not who I was then, and I want you to know I'm sorry and ask you to forgive me." And it doesn't get much easier with practice, either. My heart goes in my throat every time, whether I'm typing a note or dialing a number. I write this because I know my audience has pasts we'd all like to heal, amends we all need to make. I want to give you the courage to pray about whose forgiveness you should ask, too. 

A word of wisdom to those who are married: Share apologies to the opposite sex, no matter how "innocent," with your spouse. I have indeed gone to past boyfriends who I know I hurt deeply, and explained to them that I am now a Christ-follower asking their forgiveness. Be guarded against any traps the enemy wants to use for darkness, and pray to not be deceived. It is dangerous to secretly do this and then find yourself adding as a friend on Facebook someone you were involved with romantically in your past. Send an email, don't waste words, and then be done. Don't let Satan take what you mean for good and twist it into something contrary to God's design. 

Also keep in mind that the person might not receive you with warmth. You are acting in obedience anyway, and they are on God's hook, not yours. Again, you've done what you set out to do...now move on. 

One incident nagged at me for years. In 1997, I was a senior in college and found myself among a group of sophomore sorority sisters. I was cocky and felt so much wiser and adult-like. When one said I could hang out with them "..because you're one of us," I answered, "I don't want to be one of you." That hideous response stuck in my heart and wouldn't go away until about three years ago, when I messaged that girl, now a grown woman with kids, who I had not seen in about years. I explained what I remembered, word for word, not skipping the sting....then awaited a response. 

I expected her to say that she had been very hurt by it. I know I had become unpopular with her group of friends because of my superior attitude (actually, insecurity). Surprisingly, she said, "I don't remember that at all. I remember you as a very kind person." 

Again, why am I writing this? To say that in doing this thing with offering random apologies to whoever comes to mind, I have witnessed and received such grace, the kind the Lord wants to show me. He uses me to encourage others to go and ask for forgiveness, and He has used countless recipients of my apologies to demonstrate to me what true grace is. I have been blown away by some other responses:

"To tell you the truth, Bertie [my college nickname], I really don't recall it."

"You have nothing to ask my forgiveness for." (Yes, I did, but that person was gracious).

"What you're doing takes a hell of a lot of courage....I've never heard of anyone doing something like this."

"Of course I forgive you. I don't know what I'd do if Christ hadn't forgiven me."

"It's ok...and I'm sorry, too."

What if you can't reach the person (such as a deceased teacher), or you committed a wrong against society (like defacing property), and you still want to express your wrongdoing? God was there, and our sin is against Him. When there's no specific person with skin on, we have to take it to God and know that His forgiveness is enough. I once kept a CD belonging to someone, and he knew I had it, although I wickedly repeatedly denied it. For years I had it and even listened to it, uncaring. I have no idea where that guy is, and the CD was stolen back in 2000. R.M., if I find you, I owe you a Van Morrison CD. In the meantime, I will still seek you, and I thank God for forgiving me.

I found a tape that belonged to a nursery school where I worked, and couldn't stand to have it in the house one more minute. Sixteen years later, I put it in an envelope and mailed it back. Another person had given me money for a specific purpose, and I had taken it and spent it dishonestly. Ten years later, I put my own money into an envelope and mailed it to the individual's office. I included a note; all I wrote was, "Here's the money I owe you." 

Once I said something horribly insensitive and immature that hurt someone because of her sister's condition. It had not been my intention to sound so stupid, but once the comment was out, my foot was in. I remember trying to smooth it over, but the more I said, the worse I sounded. That was in 1994. Twenty years later, I messaged that lady, my former classmate, and told her I was sorry for things I had said that hurt her. I had to use the sensitivity I didn't have before, and this time I didn't mention the specifics. If she didn't remember, I didn't want to hurt her all over again. 

This is not an invitation to torture yourself into coming up with every terrible thing you've ever done. Let the Spirit gently and lovingly (as is His way) bring these to light slowly. You will know the right time and manner in which to seek forgiveness. Pray about what to say, and let the Lord give you the words. Once you've asked for forgiveness, thank God for the courage, and find freedom in it. He gets the glory; it's His victory, and you have the privilege in sharing in it. 

My prayer is that everyone who reads this will be bold enough to make amends. Go in the Holy Spirit's power, not your own. He makes us brave when we live according to Him. I shared this with a close friend, and that dear lady showed me just last week her email in making amends, and the beautiful response from the friend who, after many years, had forgiven her. 

Praise God, we're not who we once were, nor are we who we will be. 

Until next time!

Suffering in Obedience

Good grief, what a week. I'm experiencing the refining process of facing God's will, even though it goes against the way I would've chosen. Good thing One of us knows what He's doing. The other one has felt beaten up and battle-worn, but I'm being counted as one who can speak His Word with authority.

Here's a clip no one enjoys putting into reality: 

What is joy, really? Is it the warm, fuzzy feeling we'd refer to as "well-being"? I contend that, if we're on the narrow road of God's Way, "joy" doesn't feel like we want it to. In fact, for me right now, it's pretty darn harrowing. I am trusting the God of the universe Who tells me that these tears I sow will reap joy (Psalm 126:5). It's hard to live out being refined when many who call themselves Christians in America won't endure a minute's discomfort to truly grow in Christ.

The irony is that this actually is true "well-being." No wonder the narrow road is sparse. Tears, cotton-brain, and torment from Satan just aren't selling points for getting folks to sign up for this race. I'm willing to throw it out there and be deemed a "Debbie Downer" by those who don't get it. I believe more of us are suffering the trials of obedience than we realize; we just don't talk about it. What are you afraid of? God's finally brought me to a turning point in my life when I'm afraid not to be a bold voice for Him. There's courage on this road, too.

Chew on this quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and dare to follow your own way:

"...within the fellowship of Christ's suffering, suffering is overcome by suffering, and becomes the way to communion with God." (From The Cost of Discipleship).

There's no two ways about it: either I obey, or I don't. My obedience looks like my trusting Him simply because He says so; "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). A wise friend reminded me a few days ago that others might not realize the cost of our obedience. It is so hard to spend oneself and endure distress for things unseen, when anything else seems "better," and no one has any idea of the cost. I make this statement as one going through it now, still in the trial. 

I have got to keep my eyes focused on Christ, not on myself or my circumstance. He exhibited the ultimate obedience, perfect and unblemished, at a cost that spilled blood to cover the cost of my own suffering. How can I not hear him and do His bidding? Pastor Tim Keller tells a story of a woman in his congregation who, upon realizing the sacrifice that Christ gave for her, said, "If He gave his life for me, there's nothing He can't ask of me." I can't worry about the fact that I might not like it...Father knows best, and He sees past, present, and future. I love the Casting Crowns song that says, "To You the future is a memory." 

"Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!" (Note that this was authored by a guy who was in chains, the same one who had sought out Christians to kill them: Romans 11:33, our brother Paul.)

If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know I'm against a fluffy, "Just let go and let God!" attitude. Pull up those rugs that are lumpy from all the issues swept under them! Pollyanna Christianity is not the way Jesus operated. His life was hard; he suffered greatly, being ridiculed for walking the narrow path. Even his own family members didn't get Him. He had no reason to leave the perfection of Heaven but to give us a model of how to share in His sufferings, and to cover all this mess with His healing blood. To "feather His hair" (as Matt Chandler says) with our platitudes and pseudo-reality is to stand in the crowd as one of His mockers. 

The Lord has to be my portion always (Lamentations 3:24). "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed" (Lam. 3:22). He has been preparing me for this through other difficulties, and although I don't enjoy it, it's a privilege to let Him lead. We all know Solomon's list in Ecclesiastes, plagiarized by the Byrds in their '60's song, "Turn, Turn, Turn"....there truly is "...a time to weep, and a time to laugh...a time of war, and a time of peace" (3:4, 8). 

I read a Martin Luther quote the other day that blew me away:

"Discipleship is not limited to what you can comprehend--it must transcend all comprehension. Plunge into the deep waters beyond your own comprehension...Bewilderment is the true comprehension. Not to know where you are going is true knowledge...Not the work which you choose, not the suffering you devise, but the road which is clean contrary to all that your choose or contrive or desire--that is the road you must take."

I surround myself with godly people. They hear my confessions and heart without judgment, not straying from the Word and reminding me of God's hard truth. I ask God to let me walk in light, not darkness, that I would know in my heart who He says I am, not who the devil wants me to think I am. I seek the testimonies of other sufferers, like the Apostle Paul, Bonhoeffer, Spurgeon, and Luther. I ask the Holy Spirit to help me hear Him, to allow me to focus on this moment and not the future. If I'm brain-dead at night, I allow "The Andy Griffith Show" to minister to me. Sometimes even I have to put my books on hold. 

I humbly ask for your prayers. God is always working, but seldom do I know what He's doing. It's not my job to figure it out, because He is unsearchable, and "His ways past finding out," remember? It's not my job to make things happen, or manipulate my own thinking. He is lovingly and painfully giving me crowns to lay at His feet. 

Instead of pulling myself up and making every effort to fake "good courage," I'm learning to say, "Lord, help me wait on You. Enable me to be of good courage. Please strengthen my heart." I like this way better; it hurts in the short term, but isn't as painful in the long run as disobedience from my own attempts. Notice the marks of my tears on this page as I created it. 

Because there is joy during trials, here are some photos I've enjoyed this week:

Here is my Dad circa 1970. When his number came up, he was obedient to the call to Vietnam. He spent over a year of his life there, and wouldn't be who he is today had he not been through that difficult time. Here he is with a pup that died shortly after this photo was taken. Dad says it was discovered that the dog had rabies, so all the guys who had handled him had to go through a series of shots. My Dad is my favorite vet, and I thanked him and many others on Nov. 11 for their sacrifices. Obedience comes in various forms. 

We worked on parts of school outside this week, and Nibbles accompanied us. She delights in eating grass from the yard, although most of it is brown these days. Pray for rain for western North Carolina, as I'm sure you've heard about the wildfires here. As distracting as it can be to have our piggy along for schoolwork, we have to look for and receive joy where God gives it, and she fits the bill for sure. If you desire a pet but don't want a lot of work, a guinea pig is perfect. 

We went to Dad's alma mater yesterday to enjoy a football game. This man is Uncle Tim Remaley, my godfather and special friend. He and Dad were teammates at Wofford and have known each other over fifty years. I'm grateful to have had Uncle Tim's love and company since the day I was born. I don't see him often enough anymore, but am happy to catch him at a game. Thank You, Lord, for him and his family, who have always been like my own. 

Until next time! Thanks for reading. Pass this on to others who need a friend in Christ. 

Latest Goings On

It's a gross understatement to say that it's an interesting time in our country. This post is not all about the election, although I'd be remiss if I didn't say a little something on the subject. 

I've felt somewhat on an island lately in my feelings of excitement over the juxtaposition of Trump and Clinton. What a time to be a part of an election! I told my children that never in my life have I witnessed such opposite, headstrong candidates pitted against each other for the most powerful position in the world. They can recount this time to their children, that they were alive during such a major election. All I've heard from others is, "Well, they both are terrible!" Okay, okay...but can you recall a more nail-biting race than this in your lifetime? This has gotten me interested in politics again! It's the stuff politics is made of!

I tend to stay away from big, anonymous forums when discussing political issues. My preference for any conversation is one-on-one or in a small group, with people who know me. It's important to establish equity with others before delving into topics about which folks are passionate. Where I live, in western North Carolina, opinions are at both extremes. As a conservative with many liberal friends, in the heart of the "hole in the Bible belt" as people like to say, I'm exposed to a variety of ideas that differ from what I believe. I don't think I have to "tread lightly," but rather understand the importance of having a mature discussion with others who are able to do the same. 

Those who know me would never label me a racist, homophobe, or characterize me as someone who is malicious toward any group. People are people, all made in God's image, and I'm able to love them because He does, without condoning anything that goes against His design. I'm not afraid to disagree respectfully with someone; God's opinion is supreme, but because I reflect Him, others are worth giving my respect, regardless if I think they're dead wrong. It's about treating others as Christ would; He lovingly pointed out truth, never compromising the design that He created and set in place.

My grandparents risked their lives to leave communist Cuba, and I hold firm to my dislike of big government. Conservatives have not stood for what they say they believe, which is how we ended up with a no-nonsense guy like Trump, like it or not. I'm a one-issue voter: abortion. This go-'round, a huge concern was The Supreme Court. Trump may not be who many of us would've imagined to be our candidate, but I admire his intelligence in surrounding himself with godly, strong people like Mike Pence and Ben Carson. His campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, is impressive. 

Why are others afraid to admit these things? I voted for Trump...there, I said it. If folks decide to stop reading this blog or de-friend me on Facebook, they are showing hypocrisy. Saying one is "open-minded" requires actually being that way toward others who believe differently. Republicans nominated a blusterer like Trump because no one else has the guts to just say it. Why should it take "guts" to voice your values? That's the beauty of America...we all have a voice, even those of us on the right. I, for one, enjoy discussions with my friends on the left. It's flavorful, fun, and doesn't have to be contentious. Soldiers haven't lost their lives so that one little group can have its say, while the rest cower in silence lest they be labeled hateful. I hope I can be seen as a peaceful, intelligent representative of a side that hasn't done a good job of speaking truth with conviction.

"Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write...Let every sluice of knowledge be opened and set a-flowing." --John Adams

Two weekends ago, I had the yearly privilege of attending the Grace to Build Retreat that focuses on the teachings of Charlotte Mason. Like last year, I took away many morsels of wisdom to apply to our school. My friend and I were able to connect with other Mason moms right here in our area, and are excited to be part of a local group that will monthly discuss excerpts from Mason's writings. While I stated I enjoy conversation about various opinions, it's paramount to surround oneself with like-minded individuals. I need other moms who are specifically homeschoolers, Christ-followers who can sharpen my walk and offer encouragement on this narrow road. 

After Grace to Build, I'm encouraged to read with more voracity than before (if it were possible). Actually, speaker Liz Cottrill of Living Books Library told us that we should have eight (yes, ocho!) books going at a time. I currently actually have that many when I count the Bible. Three of them I read regularly, depending on my mood. I'm on a plan to read the Bible in a year, which I began at the start of this year, reading Old Testament in the morning, and New at night. One of my books, The Cloud of Witness, I have mentioned before. It's the treasure of daily poems, verses, and quotes that Charlotte Mason gave to the graduates of her school. Liz says that if you go into your closet and read just ten pages a day, you'll have a 300-page book read in a month. As I say, "little bits;" they add up!

An interesting read that I finished a few weeks ago is The Horse and Buggy Doctor by Dr. Arthur E. Hertzler, published in 1939:

Hertzler wrote this book at the end of his medical career. The first two-thirds recounts his memories of becoming a doctor during the late 1890's, the time of the horse and buggy. It is fascinating to hear firsthand the tales of trips that took days to reach the sick, and the primitive methods of curing ailments. This book was among my "box of books for $6" that I wrote about in another post. Yes, I actually read these obscure finds that most people would deem obsolete!

Hertzler educated me on outdated items crucial to medicine of long ago, like chloroform, ether, nux vomica, salol (given to babies with febrile seizures, now a component in floor wax), and bismuth. His chapter on kitchen surgery was fascinating, as well as his take on a sterile environment. Hertzler argues that all the pains taken "today" (1939) to sterilize the atmosphere aren't necessary; the key to staying germ-free, in his opinion, is performing the procedure as fast as possible. 

The last third of the book dragged on, as it had to do with Hertzler's education and "modern" medicine. I was much more interested in his stories of the beginning of his career than hearing a dissertation on his intelligence. Frankly, I tired of Hertzler's esteem of himself. The flavor of his tales in the first part of the book overrides his arrogance, but the details of his schooling and how smart he is just didn't hold the same interest. I recommend skipping Chapters 7 and 8, reading Chapter 9 ("I Practice Kitchen Surgery"), and ending there.

Since May, I've had the privilege of spending time with the O'Haras:

Confession: I had never seen the movie "Gone With the Wind." Admission: I read the book, then watched....and was so grateful! I can understand why, in 1939, when Hertzler was riding high on his knowledge, the movie was a big deal. However, I can't imagine watching it without having read the book. The movie was choppy, with entire plots and characters left out! I don't get how anyone can fully comprehend it without having read it first. As is usually the case, the book was much better.

It took me about three months to read it. I began it on a flight to Miami, and finished it again in Florida, during our vacation in Destin. It wasn't the only book I was reading at the time, and at 833 pages, it takes a while to digest! I encourage everyone to pick up a volume like this and not be afraid of it. Don't think you have to speed read it in a week. A feast is worth savoring slowly. A dear lady I know has had the same copy of Les Miserables on her nightstand for over three years now, but a paragraph at a time is progress. 

Growing up in South Carolina, I am familiar with much of the lifestyle here. Some ideas of 1860's Tara aren't much different than the "Who are your pah-rents?" I have been asked more than once in my life.  I saw parts of Scarlett I recognized in the me of my past, and cringed. I even felt sorry for her at times. I understood why she fell into Rhett's trap of debonaire, and how she couldn't keep away from him. Guys like him still exist in Charleston, and in all parts of the south. We're training our girls to stay away from the likes of him. 

I practically sped to the used bookstore for the sequel by Alexandra Ripley. She does an ideal job of maintaining the Scarlett we all know, yet growing her up a bit. Ripley maintains Mitchell's characters with a storyline all her own, taking our protagonist to the Ireland of her father. Both books are worth their weight in gold, yet I paid a mere buck apiece. I began reading Scarlett in August, and currently have a little over twenty pages left...don't tell me what happens, as I will finish it tonight! 

I told my husband I'm going to miss Scarlett, "The O'Hara," as she's called in this second novel, as she's been a part of my life for six months now. Good books do that; the reader forms a relationship with a character. Liz Cottrill tells a story about a friend who grew so close to a Jane Austen character, she actually prayed for her! I haven't gone that far with poor Scarlett, but have had every reason to based on the events of her life.  

What wonders happen when we take our forefather John Adams's advice to "dare to read;" we find ourselves trapped half the night to move toward the ending, and end up thinking, speaking, and writing. 

Until next time (I hope)!