Papi & Community

My grandfather died 14 years ago today. He was Antonio Jimenez Blanco, known to his friends as just Blanco, and to me as Papi. Every year until now, I have dreaded February 16. This year, I feel content, as God reveals new ideas that I'm realizing were influenced by Papi, and I see them spilling over into my own life.

I used to think I was weird for noticing details about people, like remembering their names, or knowing their birthdates. Most folks seem not to care much for details, and we often aren't taught to notice. We plow through life, taking and consuming meager crumbs which are expected to satisfy. In the meantime, we bypass a feast because we won't make time to stop, and have no idea why we're left empty.

I'm grateful for the focus God is giving, the yearning for community and what's good. I'm unable to concentrate and focus among the masses, but I can get to know individuals and the details of their hearts. God has woven community into my life's tapestry; Papi demonstrated it, and my grandmother, Abue, still does, even at age 96. 

How unfortunate that our culture diminishes the art of being intentional! Community takes time, but we're "busy" filling ours with empty activities. Also, people are messy; getting involved in the details of their lives is often more than what we bargained for. What my grandparents and others have shown me by living their lives in a counterculture way is that true living involves living slowly, in small, close-knit community. For them it wasn't hard work; it was just life. 

I can either bemoan the treadmill of our society, or I can choose to be intentional about living differently. Other cultures remain community-oriented, and I'm grateful that my grandparents never abandoned their Cuban traditions when they came to this country. Our own country was much more community-focused in the days of our grandparents, but many today want to leave archaic ways behind and not put time into real relationships.

Before going further, I give the disclaimer that I have not achieved this. My days seem full enough with homeschooling and housework. The Holy Spirit is starting to remind me of the example set by Abue and Papi, however, and giving me the desire to cultivate deep relationships. "Community" isn't having 1,000 Facebook friends, or traveling from activity to activity until everyone is exhausted. Rather, it involves few intimate friends, and a little time, like one night to invite friends over, or an hour over coffee with someone while the kids play. It's not too late to resurrect just "stopping by" for a few minutes like they did in the olden days.

A gathering of Burtnett family members (some of them distant relatives)
in Charleston, WV, circa 1960. My Dad is the boy in the photo,
between his grandfather and father (my other grandfather).
Togetherness like this was common, as I have albums full of
similar photos taken at various times....and the adults all
dressed for the occasion, too!

As God further plants the desire for community and being intentional into my heart, He gives me more courage to be the real me with others. I believe our culture is afraid of getting deep because we'd have to remove our masks and learn who we really are. I also grow in admiration for my predecessors, those whose blood is in my veins, that seemed to "do life" with others so naturally. It's how God meant for us to live, and because we swim upstream, life is stressful. 

The Burtnetts knew how to do life together. Here they are in
the late 1940's "at Sleepy Hollow."

We are under the impression today community means spending a lot of money on a party, or doing something elaborate. We go "all out" once or twice a year, and live the remainder of the time holed-up. My grandparents knew that a simple cake and a few bottles of soda were enough. I love to make coffee or tea and enjoy a piece of pie or a cookie with a friend or family member. Pretty patterned napkins can be purchased on the cheap, and add a touch of elegance.

Abue and Papi with my Mom and aunt,
celebrating in Cuba over cake, sandwiches,
and bottles of pop.

Papi and me, about 25 years later,
celebrating in SC over cake, canned pop,
and fake fruit.

We have a group affiliated with our church that meets in our home each Wednesday. Home groups are a wonderful way to be in community, and to get to know people on a personal, deep level. As tired as we may be, we agree that we're always glad that we got together. Folks arrive at 5:30 for Bible study and discussion, then we enjoy a meal together. Everyone contributes: main dishes, sides, and desserts. The women usually sit together at one table, and the men at another. We laugh, cry, enjoy each other, and dig deep. Even if only two people can attend, we still have our group. Deep growth happens whether all or just a few are here.

One Wednesday night during the Christmas season.
We are some eatin' folks!

Celebrating our friend Michael's birthday at his house.
We try to alternate eating at each other's homes every few weeks.

Thank you, Papi and others, for showing me what community and simple living are about. It's worth it to take the small steps required in getting to know others better. I find that when I am intentional about knowing others in a simple, profound way, then I learn more about myself, too. It can be scary to put oneself out there and be known. Christ Himself did it, experiencing the realness of others, and even being betrayed. We should take the risks that He took; Jesus is the ultimate example of what it looks like to live in community: discipling, living, fellowshipping, laughing, loving, weeping, confiding, growing, being known, and not being scared to see people without their masks. 

My grandparents and their community, enjoying a meal together in the mid 1980's.
Papi is standing on the left, and Abue is seated next to last on the right, holding her glass of wine.

I'm grateful and content to remember Papi and his Christlike example today. Gracias por tu ejemplo.