Advent and Yearning

I admit, not only have I never celebrated the Advent season for the time of anticipation and waiting that it is, I have not even really thought much of it.  Yes, I have toned down my Christmas-season stress over the past few years, but this is the first time I have experienced Advent. I feel a marked yearning for more than this world has to offer, longing for the coming of Christ, the only One Who will be able to straighten the crooked places.  

I decided over the last two or three years to start cutting out things that aren't bad, but that add too much to my life because they take away my focus on the real reason for Christmas.  My decorations are minimal, yet fun enough.  We love to bake, but feel no pressure.  I can't recall the last Christmas party we attended, and I no longer invest my time in stressful pageant-type productions. Before I become dubbed Mrs. Scrooge, let the record show that I have experienced more Jesus and more direction, and less pulling out my hair. 

My copy of The Cloud of Witness pointed my heart toward Advent, making me excited about daily centering my thoughts and desires on Christ: why He came, why we need Him, and especially, the constant yearning I have for Him to set our crumbling world straight.  How can we be still long enough to ponder our Lord when we're drowning in social gatherings, worried about cookie parties, destroying part of the kitchen to make it seem like the elf did it, or standing in line to have a photo opportunity with Santa?  Christian friend, let's reevaluate why we feel the need to keep up with how the world defines Christmas.

Make no mistake, I enjoy a good Christmas movie, savor the lights on our tree, and even admit to being one of the only people who likes Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime." But I'm grateful that the Holy Spirit is calling me to be still, to wonder at the One who is "the light of men," through which "all things were made" (John 1:3-4). None of what I post is said out of self-righteousness, but rather from conviction, to "renounce the hidden things...by manifestation of the truth" (2 Corinthians 4:2). I want all believers to know that we don't have to be in bondage to customs that, when it comes down to it, mean squat (as we say in the south).

Having said that, I will confess that, although my heart is being slowly healed, I remain angry.  I'm angry that my heart has been shattered in the first place, and about many things that I'm not at liberty to disclose on a public blog.  I'm furious that the poor decisions of others have cost me parts of my life.  I'm frustrated that forgiveness doesn't come easily, and that instability has been a part of my life for so long. Please join me in prayer for continued renewal in this area, and know that I am an advocate for anyone's healing from brokenness.

I'm learning that it's okay for me to feel this way for a time.  Emotion has to be aroused in God's people for the wrongs that plague us as humans. Why are we afraid to admit that we yearn passionately, to the point of tears, for Jesus to return and make all things new? As indignant as I am, this Advent season I know that Christ came for all of this ugliness, and in His time, "all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28).  I can be real with Him, my Creator, Who knows my heart anyway. Drawing closer to Him during this time of quiet anticipation helps me realize that He, too, yearns to right the wrongs, and that Christ is the only One Who can. The Advent season helps a broken heart to have hope.

"Because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.  For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now." Romans 8:21-22

"Even so, come Lord Jesus!" Revelation 22:20